Clueless

Title missing

2008-11-05T05:05:00.000-08:00

This is something done out of boredom.

If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?

I will feel betrayed. Duh. And i would probably agonise over it day and night till i decide whether to forgive or forget and leave.

What will your dream wedding be like?

My dream wedding would be her dream wedding.

On your wedding day, what would you like to see?

I think i can only see one face on that day.

Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?

I like to be clear, well at least a few months ahead.

What's your ideal lover like?

This is an essay question, but well i guess it got to be someone who would go to ends for you.

If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?

See how. Either leave it and kill myself. Or kill off that guy, like i mean trample him over and get the girl.

Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days??

Quite a few.

Who are currently the most important people to you?

Friends and family.

Would you rather be rich and single or married but poor?

Latter.

What's the first thing you do every morning?

Stretch my muscles and see if they cramp.

Would you give all in a relationship?

Duh.

If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would u pick?

It would not happen for me.

What type of friends do you like?

genuine people. no fakes or hypocrites.

What type of friends do you dislike?

Refer to above.

Are you a virgin?

Yes.

Have you ever lied to your parents?

Yes.

What did you lie about?

Cant remember.

Currently are you having any crush on anyone?

No crushes.

Do you think the guy/girl knows?

Invalid.

What phrases do you usually say when something unexpected happens?

what the ____. Anything can go there.

What annoys you the most?

Not being appreciated.

What is your current obsession?

Very dull life, no obsessions.

Who do you short text the most these days?

Quite a few.

Who do you miss alot now?

Someone you do not need to know.

Which secondary school friend you miss the most right now?

Cant think of any.

Who do you idolize now?

Nobody.

Best girl friends?

Not saying, it'd probably come out as my rumoured attachments the very next day.

Best boy friends?

This will be teased off as gays.

Biggest fear?

Fearless? Actually no, but none of them are big enough, yes dont look at me like that, death aint scare any shit out of me.

Favourite hang out place?

Riverside walk.

If you were to go out with a group of friends, who will u choose?

I would choose a one on one session.

Made any new friends recently?

Not many.

What kind of mood are you in most of the time?

Normal mood.

Do you like the person who tagged you?

No.

Very boring answers to empitamise my boredom. Sorry guys, no show today.

Lift

2008-10-25T01:56:00.000-07:00

Wazza-
Razza-
Dazzle-

*Randoms*

Been quite a bore since exams ended, after all marking days are like just for slacking at home or going out. I have been quite productive though, dont know how i actually manage to slog through all that pile of work and get it all over and done with.

Of course not forgetting i have to cope with my old computer again since some virus in my mum's thumbdrive just caused my labtop to repeatedly crash and crash.

Nothing much happening for myself this holidays. No OIP, no PSL, simply hardcore training and courses. I think i will meditate to death at home. No i am serious.

Its time to throw away a few chances of unattentionable growth and do some self reflection and review before i move on to 2009. I just thought i wasn't prepared enough yet. Stupid right? I dont know also, we wait and see.

Time really flies, now i am in need of pure DISCIPLINE.

J-J

2008-10-20T06:44:00.000-07:00

Random Retarded quiz. Aliteration heh...screw lit, at least for now.

01.Single, taken, naked or flirt?
Flirt.

02.Are you happy with that?
No.

03.Would you still kiss your ex?
No i do not remember having one.

04.Have you ever had your heart broken?
Yes. Many, many times.

05.Do you believe that there are certain circumstances where cheating is okay?
Depends on what cheating. Cheating in some stupid pop quiz is fine, cheating for CCT is shit, cheat for A levels you go to hell. Cheat on your wife? You deserve to get your ballz untimely ripped off.

06.Have you ever talked about marriage?
No.

07.Do you want children?
Yeah a girl and a guy.

08.How many?
2.

09.If someone like you now, would you want them to tell you?
I prefer to know her before she just smash it point blanc in my face.

10.Do you want someone you cant have?
No i dont like wasting my time.

11.Have you ever been in love?
Yes, once.

12.Do you believe in celebrating anniversaries?
utmost importance.

13.What would you say about you recent ex?
Refer to above.

14.Does your ex still have feelings for you?
This is getting irritating.

15.Do you believe in long distance relationship?
Possible.

16.Do you believe in love at first sight?
Yes, but it takes much more to maintain something like that.

TRUTHS ABOUT ME

01.Are you perfect?
Not at all.

02.Are you tall?
Pretty damn tall.

03.Are you short?
Retarded question.

04.Are you in your pyjamas?
Nope.

LAST

01.The last friend you saw?
Ccw.

02.Last talked on phone to?
Najoma.

03.Last person to text you?
Nat.

FAVOURITES

01.Number?
10, if you ask for jersey number.

02.Colour?
Orange.

03.Food?
Wanton boys. Lit infiltration again.

QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS

01.What was the first thing you did this morning when you got up?
Read newspaper.

02.Do you have anything bother you?
Not much at the moment.

03.Whats the last movie you watched in the theatres?
WALL-EEEEEEEEEE.

04.Where is the last place you went?
School.

05.Do you smile a lot?
Depends on my mood.

06.Do you wish upon stars?
Dont be retarded, stars are too far away to hear you.

07.Are you a friendly person?
Very much, lest you're a bastard.

08.Where did you have your sleep last night?
My room.

09.When was the last time you cried?
Close to half a year ago? Cant really remember the exact occassion.

10.What was your last thoughts before going to bed?
Sentosa.

11.Rate life as of it now,one being bad,ten being great?
7.5

12.What do you hear right now?
Moving bedroom fan.

13.Does anything hurt you right now?
Doing this quiz. Actually my injury today.

14.What your favourite month?
December, obviously.

EMOTIONS

01.Are you missing someone right now?
My dad, Saudi Arabia.

02.Are you tired?
Very.

03.Are your parents still married?
Yes.

BASICS

01.Real name?
Confidential.

02.Eye colour?
Orange.

03.Male or Female?
Male.

04.Crushing?
Not at all.

05.Hair colour?
Black.

06.Sweats or jeans?
Sweats.

07.Phone or Camera?
Phone definitely.

08.Health freak?
Yes.

09.Righty or Lefty?
Right handed.

10.Smoke or drink?
Bubble tea wussies. Drink with dad sometimes.

FIRST

01.First best friend?
A small kid who's name i forgot.

02.First enemy?
I dont have enemies.

03.First vacation?
Dont know at all, seriously, not worth the brain cells to think about it now.

CURRENTLY

01.Eating?
No, unhealthy at this time.

02.Drinking?
Milk, no not from china.

03.Listening to?
Fan's droning.

04.Plans tmr?
Confidential.

WHICH IS BETTER FOR THE OPPOSITE GENDER?

01.Lips or Eyes?
Eyes, no fight here.

02.Shorter or Taller?
Shorter. obviously.

03.Romantic or Spontaneous?
Very romantic.

04.Sensitive or Loud?
Sensitive.

05.Hook-up or being in a relationship?
No hooks please, lest its a fling.

HAVE YOU EVER?

01.Drank hard drinks?
Lived to tell the tale.

02.Lost glasses or contacts?
Broke alot, never lost them.

03.Ran away from home?
No, good boy you looking at here.

04.Broken someone's heart?
I doubt it.

05.Been arrested?
Oh boy, not like chester who got booked for throwing water bombs down his house.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY

01.Do you like someone?
Yes, and it is none of your business.

02.Are you seriously happy with where you are in life now?
Pretty much, there is always two sides of the coin, we all prefer to flip to the better side and just sleep with it under our pillows.

T-T

2008-10-18T00:10:00.000-07:00

I think i have neglected this blog long enough.

Last paper on monday, now just a few random photos from the aftermath of Physics + History. Promised proper post soon.

Sexy artistic shot of anurak*

Dracula i think

Discussing some soccer strategies

Seduction at its worst

F-01

2008-08-30T08:20:00.000-07:00

I was compelled to update through a quiz, so here it goes.

Taggged to do this from Chiap.

#1 The first person who tag/pass you is?
Chiap

#2 Your relationship with him/her?
Fellow 3B mate.

#3 Your five impression of her?
Firstly, unless you claim the above 2 sounds like girl names. So invalid question.

#4 The most memorable thing he/she had done for you?
Do my blog 3 for me hahaha

#5 The most memorable thing he/she had said to you?
SINK OR SWIM

#6 If he/she become your lover, you will?
I will become gay, which is impossible of course.

#7 If he/she become your lover, thing he/she has to improve on will be ?
He has to turn gay first.

#8 If he/she become your enemy, you will?
I will stab him in the EYE! oh bullshit, obviously try to mend things back.

#9 If he/she become your enemy, the reason will be ?
Maybe i really did accidentally stabbed him in the eye..

#10 The most desired thing you want to do for him/her now is?
Teach him FoG

#11 Your overall impression of him/her is.
8 and half points, 1 half more to go bro(:

#12 How you think people around you will feel about you?
They will think i am a flirt, which apparently is not true.

#13 The characters you love of yourself are?
Let's not be so egoistic..the list is too long.

#14 On the contrary , the characters you hate yourself are?
Actually, it is my lousiness at kicking a bad habit

#15 The most ideal person you want to be is?
Myself

#16 For people that care and like you, say something to them ?
It's all done in a deed's day

#17 Pass this quiz to 10 person that you wish to know how they feel about you. Pass to people with blogs only.
1. Chester (he wont see this though)
2. Quek Hao zhi
3. Nat
4. BJ
5. Nigel
6. Jon Ed
7. Mike Ng
8. Swee Sam
9. Kartik
10. Clement

#18 Who is no.6 having relationship with?
ErHEM...he is EaRNed a relatively good stock at lit sem

#19 Is no.9 a male or female?
Male

#20 if no.7 & no.10 together, will it be a good thing?
It would be an impossible thing

#21 What is no.2 studying about?
Mugging almost everything to get his 3.67 GPA haha

#22 When was the last time you had chat with no.3?
A few minutes ago

#23 What kind of music band does no.8 like?
Dont know..JJ? Mu Nai Yi HAHAHA

#24 Does no.1 have any sibilings?
A sister that looks like him

#25 Will you woo no.3?
Invalid.

#26 How about no.7?
Err, I'd think not.

#27 Is no.4 single?
Maybe not..

#28 What is the surname of no.5?
Choo

#29 What`s the hobby of no.10?
Swimming? i am brain dead..

#30 Does no.5 and 9 get along well?
They never knew each other existed

#31 What is no.2 studying at?
Raffles institution

#32 Talk something casually about no.1.
Lame guy, fails on me though.

#33 Have you tried developing feelings for no.6?
Not with him..

#34 Where does no.9 live at?
In the north i guess

#35 What colour does no.4 like?
Pink

#36 Are no.5 and 1 best friend?
Ok lar..not bad friends

#37 Does no.1 have any pets?
Dont think so

#38 Is no.7 the sexiest person in the world?
No way dude..

#39 what is no.6 doing now?
EaRNing some more stocks i guess..

Now it's revived...KINDA.

G-114

2008-07-27T06:56:00.000-07:00

我可以 - 蔡旻佑

寄没有地址的信这样的情绪有种距离
你放着谁的歌曲是怎样的心情
能不能说给我听雨下得好安静
是不是你偷偷在哭泣
幸福真的不容易
在你的背景有我爱你
我可以陪你去看星星
不用再多说明我就要和你在一起
我不想又再一次和你分离
我多么想每一次的美丽是因为你

寄没有地址的信这样的情绪有种距离
你放着谁的歌曲是怎样的心情
能不能说给我听雨下得好安静
是不是你偷偷在哭泣
幸福它真的不容易
在你的背景有我爱你
我可以陪你去看星星
不用再多说明我就要和你在一起
我不想又再一次和你分离
我多么想每一次的美丽是因为你

我可以陪你去看星星
不用再多说明我就要和你在一起
我不想又再一次和你分离
我多么想每一次的美丽是因为你

G-113

2008-07-17T05:46:00.000-07:00

听歌吧，放松一下，好久没有这种机会了。

周杰伦 - 彩虹
作曲:周杰伦作词:周杰伦

哪里有彩虹告诉我
能不能把我的愿望还给我
为什么天这么安静
所有的云都跑到我这里

有没有口罩一个给我
释怀说了太多就成真不了
也许时间是一种解药
也是我现在正服下的毒药

看不见你的笑我怎么睡得着
你的声音这么近我却抱不到
没有地球太阳还是会绕
没有理由我也能自己走

你要离开我知道很简单
你说依赖是我们的阻碍
就算放开但能不能别没收我的爱
当作我最后才明白

有没有口罩一个给我
释怀说了太多就成真不了
也许时间是一种解药
也是我现在正服下的毒药

看不见你的笑我怎么睡得着
你的声音这么近我却抱不到
没有地球太阳还是会绕
没有理由我也能自己走

你要离开我知道很简单
你说依赖是我们的阻碍
就算放开但能不能别没收我的爱
当作我最后才明白
看不见你的笑要我怎么睡得着
你的身影这么近我却抱不到
没有地球太阳还是会绕会绕
没有理由我也能自己走掉
是我说了太多就成真不了
也许时间是一种解药解药
也是我现在正服下的毒药

你要离开我知道很简单
你说依赖是我们的阻碍
就算放开但能不能别没收我的爱
当作我最后才明白

听了在从新被卷入如前的生命中吧。

G-112

2008-07-14T04:13:00.001-07:00

8 boxes of orange
5 crates of bananas
12 lines of soldiers
16 carts of straws

I think it stands as that, i need oranges bananas soldiers and straws rather urgently.

G-111

2008-07-12T09:05:00.000-07:00

I think if i were a bottle, i would at least be more than half full by now. Why? I think i have so much thoughts inside me. I think it really is inside us all.

Maybe one day when we could be bothered, we could disconnect ourselves from our busy lives momentarily, sit down and be really calm and peaceful. We'd gain immense clarity and wisedom just searching through our own thoughts which we neglected all these while.

I ain't just crapping, it's scientific. A human utilize his/her brain much more than how we normally lay it to waste under extreme conditions, be it fear happiness sadness calm or during meditation. That explains alot, like why a cornered enemy is so dangerous or why those wise monks meditate so much.

I think we might not be able to afford such time and effort, the world we exist in leaves us with little choices. But still with the available options we could spare some time to reflect. Sound so 孔子, 温故而知新, but reflecting is not an ancient process meant for the dogs in modern society. It really is a necessity and wonderful experience. And i certainly mean reflect, learn and move on. So yeah, before anyone start saying i encouraging brooding and nostalgia.

I think i must have played the song more than 200 times over the past 3 days. It is literally ringing in my heard. Haha, whilst i was lying in bed, i just had this funny feeling, like some kind of spasm or shudders going up my face and my ears became blocked. And the music started playing in my ears.

I think, those are really special moments. When we can let go of the urge to chase for answers, to stop wanting to think and just let our hearts control us and random stuff that truly stick with us begin popping up in our heads and all over our body, making us truly feeling it. Maybe our brain really ain't meant to surpass our heart.
When we know everything, then what is there to live? I think faith and passion really serves the heart well, and in turn serves us well as well. We need a translucent staunch belief, we need to trust even when we cannot see fully, have faith even when we know not everything. If not where comes our motivation if there are no uncertainties, no risks.

Haha, on a lighter mood, i think what i conjured really means alot now, somehow eventually by some process, no matter how bad life gets sometimes we'd eventually and subtly end up at a certain resuting juncture. And the journey carries on from there. Life can get harder, but life will make the person stronger steadily to adapt as well.

APCG, oh great. Time to catch up on all my work after missing school for an entire week. Damn, still cant exercise though, it's going to be one hell of a boring week. Somehow, it'd get by as well. I'd try to make full use of the time on my part.

And i think i am really different haha. Totally screwed physics quiz but not maths test. For everyone else it was the other way round. Haha but not my fault also! My medicine made me so groggy and unconscious and physics quiz had to be the first period. Damn.
Haha but i get extra a day or 2 to mug maths, perhaps that helped?
塞翁失马，祸福难测
So let's not jump to conclusion on anything first yeah. Maybe theres alot more good and bad to come!

Pace man, watch the pace~

Adieu

G-110

2008-07-12T06:59:00.000-07:00

Picked up a old guitar and started trying to figure out the chords for "All about you". Or should i stick with the utility ones? Haha, anyone fancies a duet?

All about you
[Danny:]
It's all about you
([Tom:] It's about you)
It's all about you, baby
([Tom:] It's all about you)
It's all about you
([Tom:] It's about you)
It's all about you

[Tom:]
Yesterday, you asked me something I thought you knew.
So I told you with a smile 'It's all about you'
Then you whispered in my ear and you told me to,
Say 'If you make my life worthwhile, it's all about you'

[Danny:]
And I would answer all you're wishes, if you asked me to.
But if you deny me one of your kisses, don't know what I'd do.
So hold me close and say three words, like you used to do.
Dancing on the kitchen tiles, it's all about you.
Yeah...

[Solo]

[Danny & Tom:]
And I would answer all you're wishes, if you asked me to.
But if you deny me one of your kisses, don't know what I'd do.
So hold me close and say three words, like you used to do.
Dancing on the kitchen tiles,
Yes you make my life worthwhile,
So I told you with a smile...
It's all about you.

[Danny:]
It's all about you
([Tom:] It's about you)
It's all about you, baby
([Tom:] It's all about you)
It's all about you
([Tom:] It's about you)
It's all about you

G-109

2008-07-12T06:31:00.000-07:00

8 boxes of orange
5 crates of bananas
12 lines of soldiers
16 carts of straws

I think it stands as that, i need oranges bananas soldiers and straws rather urgently.

G-108

2008-07-08T05:35:00.000-07:00

Tuesday;

My days grow worst, but the resulting effect is that the person must grow stronger to cope. Life will push you up to the minimum challenge at the very least with every other second that ticked by.

基本该有的还是会得到。

How far you want to challenge yourself from there is totally up to us, we can give it up on going further here but excel else well.

人生就是总合力！

Currently stuck with individual portfolio, realised after 6 months of RE i did quite some hands-on but not so much of admin and paperwork, so untypical of me. Perhaps i'd come up with a good reflection? I think it is a gifted skill to be able to reflect. Look through and learn, grow.

温；回顾！

No matter how bumpy it may get, how screwed up the process might be, just have to look on forward to every morning. You might feel so sad at night that you might want to break down, but if you choose to sleep, or try to at least. Next morning you'd definitely be better, from there we all steer ourselves on how we want to face each day and make each day for ourselves. I'm learning as well.

睡眠是烦恼的克星，睡了就什么都想不了了不是吗？（：

Well, sometimes we got all those wonderful dreams that just turn anti climatic or circumstances make us feel their impossibility. Those moments can be real hard, coupled with all the stress and perhaps physical deficiencies? Yet, despite all that weight, simple stuff can lift them off. I think instead of sitting there waiting for those simple nice stuff, it really is better to D.Y.I. Seeking others to give us what only we can give ourselves would only sink ourselves into disappointment and further misery. I hope i'm right on that one (:

给自己自己能够给自己的东西。

I think i'd stop for today.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=28a2ATxM0z4&feature=related

All about you
[Danny:]
It's all about you
([Tom:] It's about you)
It's all about you, baby
([Tom:] It's all about you)
It's all about you
([Tom:] It's about you)
It's all about you

[Tom:]
Yesterday, you asked me something I thought you knew.
So I told you with a smile 'It's all about you'
Then you whispered in my ear and you told me to,
Say 'If you make my life worthwhile, it's all about you'

[Danny:]
And I would answer all you're wishes, if you asked me to.
But if you deny me one of your kisses, don't know what I'd do.
So hold me close and say three words, like you used to do.
Dancing on the kitchen tiles, it's all about you.
Yeah...

[Solo]

[Danny & Tom:]
And I would answer all you're wishes, if you asked me to.
But if you deny me one of your kisses, don't know what I'd do.
So hold me close and say three words, like you used to do.
Dancing on the kitchen tiles,
Yes you make my life worthwhile,
So I told you with a smile...
It's all about you.

[Danny:]
It's all about you
([Tom:] It's about you)
It's all about you, baby
([Tom:] It's all about you)
It's all about you
([Tom:] It's about you)
It's all about you

G-107

2008-07-06T22:44:00.000-07:00

Dig out one of the best songs;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=28a2ATxM0z4&feature=related

All about you
[Danny:]
It's all about you
([Tom:] It's about you)
It's all about you, baby
([Tom:] It's all about you)
It's all about you
([Tom:] It's about you)
It's all about you

[Tom:]
Yesterday, you asked me something I thought you knew.
So I told you with a smile 'It's all about you'
Then you whispered in my ear and you told me to,
Say 'If you make my life worthwhile, it's all about you'

[Danny:]
And I would answer all you're wishes, if you asked me to.
But if you deny me one of your kisses, don't know what I'd do.
So hold me close and say three words, like you used to do.
Dancing on the kitchen tiles, it's all about you.
Yeah...

[Solo]

[Danny & Tom:]
And I would answer all you're wishes, if you asked me to.
But if you deny me one of your kisses, don't know what I'd do.
So hold me close and say three words, like you used to do.
Dancing on the kitchen tiles,
Yes you make my life worthwhile,
So I told you with a smile...
It's all about you.

[Danny:]
It's all about you
([Tom:] It's about you)
It's all about you, baby
([Tom:] It's all about you)
It's all about you
([Tom:] It's about you)
It's all about you

G-106

2008-07-06T03:05:00.000-07:00

My blog came back from a near death experience, kinda close to my real physical person, at least for the past week.

Yeah, after going to sell tickets at RG on tuesday, which brings me to my next point.
The announcement was totally wrecked by Ren Hao with his gay nasal voice, but the good thing is at least everyone laughed at it. But i think the ending was a bit inappropriate as that talked about what you could do with the ginger breadman (our mascot this time round)

"Kicking it"
"Tickling it"
"LICKING it"

Damn, i was so sure i saw a few of the teachers there eye them suspiciously as they came down from the announcement platform. Haha Ren Hao is just always full of nonsense. Another vindication would be what happened in the male toilet.

They were about to go out and make the announcement, Ren Hao insisted that Eng Han tuck in his shirt fully, like a retard. Saying that it looked more formal and giving alot of bullshit reasons. And obviously he was enjoying himself over the violent rage that Eng Han was throwing in his face. Ok moving on from the topic on him.

What save me from wearing that ginger breadman was the height limit of 150cm. Haha for once my height wasnt a irritating thing (remembers getting off buses and MRTs). So Ben and Ren Hao took turns to wear since Eng Han had a skin condition. I am tempted to talk about how Ren Hao went to psycho him over that, but it's a bit too much for the readers eh?

Anyway ticket sales wasnt productive at first, but it gradually got better. Since i was unwell, most of the time i just stoned at the booth or went around with the mascot feeling all groggy and sleepy. Many people tried to sell their tickets to us as well in exchange for going to ours so Mr nice guy Eng Han made the worthy sacrifice (: haha thanks dude.

But the real highlight was at the last lunch. A sec 1 girl came up and asked "can i kick him" then we were like "sure" after all we did say "kicking it". So she hesitated and we were abit surprised, even her friend tried to stop her but she told her "they said i can".

Then WHAM, out of nowhere, we saw a flying kick aimed at his stomach and next thing he flew like he was in some action movie, then tumbled to the ground and rolled around in pain. Unstoppable laughter followed, i could hardly believe my eyes. Even recounting the scene now literally makes me laugh out loud.

In total we sold around 40 tickets, hopefully more next friday and during APCG week.

Yes as i was saying, after selling tickets at RG, i stupidly went tuition partly cause of my mum nagging incessantly for the past few days about it. I came home and died in bed, obviously the next day. Fever was up, went to polyclinic. Doctor send me for blood test and X-Ray.

Blood test was eerie. Maybe is a phobia of some sharp thing pushing into my arm. Cause when i was young i was literally so plagued by diseases that my hand had so many needle holes that they couldnt drip anymore into my hand or arm. They had to drip into my head. A needle on my head. Retarded. But i think as much as i was plagued in childhood with all the sickness, my mum probably died of fatigue and worry bringing me from one hospital to another. Sorry and thanks mum. Now she recollets about how my face swell till i had no nose, haha.

Ok back on topic, i better stop derailing. Anyway, my diagnosis was, guess what, pneumonia of all things. 肺炎. And my competition was 3 days away. Oh great goes me. But i aint going to bitch about that, it's all thought over and through. Somemore got alot of personal issue to deal with. Damn, hard life haha. But my mum came in and reminded me about my demised grandpa, whom i remember vivdly due to a bullet mark on his forehead, the most manly man in my perspective. Went to fight in the war at the same age as i was, leaving home and running around with not enough food and water. My mum said he had 9 lives like the cat, i'd rather not think it was a miracle but a burning fighting spirit.

And there i was lying in bed thinking about all the shit happening to me, thinking it was hard life. Damn, it's time to wake up man Jin Fu. And so i did. Ok maybe i went to sleep after that but you get the point. Life doesnt seem that hard anytime aint it, cause no matter how hard it gets, life helps you get through by never stopping. It'd always move on and get by one way or another.

That's why i am recovering, cause over time i'd definitely recover right?

Anyway as my brain lay restless and was going to waste itself over the past 4 days staying at home. I thought of a few good quotes, who knows maybe they'd live on after me. And i thought of alot of plans to my problems. Dwelling is out now, it's time to take action. No point stressing out, life will push you along and get over it no matter what. The consequences of not enough preparation? Face it, learn, move on from there. I am tempted to quote again but i dont think it's appropriate here so forget it.

Tuesday i'd be back to school, to take a maths test, a physics test DMP stuff and god knows what other stuff that awaits me. I'd better start preparing and not loose sleep over the unknown. It's coming soon. Going soon as well.

The real kick is putting all my thoughts over 4 days into action now. Surprised myself over how much i could conjure in my head over that duration. But it's really self-inspiring.

See you guys back at where ever we usually see each other (:

Coming...soon of course.

H-01

2008-06-23T02:20:00.000-07:00

All the birds can now come back to the tree man, cause winter and sleep time's dreadfully over.

Yeah, so are the holidays.

Stayed home for the first day of school, how crap is that. Well just didn't feel up to it in the morning. And before you all start guessing, i have a MC, yeah and i didn't waste it as i thought i was going to on sunday night.

But still, sunday night i was pacing around, feeling not in the mood of school yet. Oh well, maybe i was sick and wasn't half as mad and drugged in homework chionging as the others. My engines are all still dead. It's going to take something rude to wake me up.

Just to recap the holidays.

First week was slack, in terms of activities, well i was out 6 days out of 7 days in a week and the time i was at home? Start on work. Now that's slack for you. Well maybe cause i didn't go to school for academic stuff at least.

Second week was tough and boring. Leadership camp, training, Rinjani preparations and RE, yes RE started, oh god. RE meeting dragged all the way till Sunday 12 midnight at Akira in Jurong East? Now before you go WTHECK, we all taxied home. So basically, the driver drove us from west to north to central then to east. S'pore tour at 00:00? That's just way too cool for some reasons. Name one, it can cost you alot when price was at 150%. That was an RE highlight, not to mention the bunny suite and some cranky volunteers.

And before i forget, i was flying off on monday and haven't packed my bag. One hell of a night there for me.

Rinjani on third week was UNEXPECTEDLY awesome. In summary, you climb a crap load of distance and pant like a dog due to altitude but dont usually break much of a sweat. You feel cold and get sun burnt. You watch your pee steam and obviously you learn how to time your shit and where to aim. But nevertheless, you are inspired by those porters that carry stuff which weighs perhaps 3 times your bag pack and jumps up and down the rocks on slippers, not scandals, slippers. Up there it's one moment 40 degrees, another moment sub 12 degrees, wind chill factor and the sun of course.

Summit climb was just, memorable. Climbing a step and slipping 3/4 of that step. Go figure. Adding on is the wind gusting sand into your eyes and the freezing conditions. Some unlucky ones got their warm clothing blown off and of course some got blown away themselves. But the satisfaction was great of course, so was the food.

Week 4, came down with dam bad fever and flu. and that lasted until now. So i did nothing but lie in bed and wake up everyday to surprising Euro 2008 results. It just doesnt get any better.

Shouldn't have wrote all that, i am getting back into holiday mood. I think i should try to do some work, if not i might end up getting a really really rude awakening in week 2.

解铃还需系铃人

Adieu

G-107

2008-06-08T23:30:00.000-07:00

At changi airport with arun john and lionel. T3 is so boody spacious haha.

Got a long wait ahead, see you guys, will blog when i come back.

Z

G-105

2008-06-07T04:02:00.001-07:00

Why is there nothing at all;

G-104

2008-06-02T03:51:00.000-07:00

Like there's no tommorrow;

Haha i certainly don't wish for that.

I think the school holidays is ironic. In 2 weeks, i have 4 days not in school and that includes weekends as well.

I think my homework is really going to GGXX-YYZZ, but i guess it really can't be helped. Somemore i am obliged to do group work first instead of others. Well, life's like that for some others too, let's just spread the love:)

I realise i was chionging homework like an idiot for the first 5 days, then now i slacked non-stop for 5 days. Just lost all the mood. I think i better find it back soon, brzzz, why am i reverting back to homework, it is literally driving me nuts.

I'll always look back;

Haha i certainly don't wish for that too.

I think i shall refer to my remedy of happiness for some reminders:) Haha, it always feel better to be happy, sometimes it is just up to ourselves to to the job for ourselves.

All of our tears will be lost in the rain;

Well, so when we cry, we should take a stroll in the rain, haha. Ok stupid conclusion.

Ironically, most people actually feel more emotional in rainy weathers.

Ok this is a totally random post.

But i found a dam good way to be a happier man :)

That is if you are actually bent on doing so! If not don't try it, might backfire.

G-103

2008-05-31T18:33:00.000-07:00

Beautiful Sunday;

So here we stand
In our secret place
With a sound of the crowd
So far away
And you take my hand
And it feels like home
We both understand
It's where we belong

So how do I say?
Do I say goodbye?
We both have our dreams
We both wanna fly
So let's take tonight
To carry us through
The lonely times

I'll always look back
As I walk away
This memory will last
for eternity
And all of our tears
Will be lost in the rain
When I've found my way back
to your arms again
But until that day
You know you are
The queen of my heart
Queen of my heart

So let's take tonight
And never let go
While dancing we'll kiss
Like there's no tomorrow
As the stars sparkle down
Like a diamond ring
I'll treasure this moment
Till we meet again

But no matter how far (matter how far)
Or where you may be (where you may be)
I just close my eyes (I just close my eyes)
And you're in my dreams
And there you will be
Until we meet

I'll always look back
As I walk away
This memory will last
for eternity
And all of our tears
Will be lost in the rain
When I've found my way back
to your arms again
But until that day
You know you are
The queen of my heart
Queen of my heart

I'll always look back
As I walk away
This memory will last
for eternity
And all of our tears
Will be lost in the rain
When I've found my way back
to your arms again
But until that day
You know you are
The queen of my heart

Oh yeah...
You're the queen of my heart (of my heart)
No matter how many years it takes
(Queen of my heart)
I'll give it all to you
Oh yeah
(Queen of my heart)
Oh yes you are
The queen of my heart

QUEEN OF MY HEART
By: Westlife

Beautiful Day.

G-102

2008-05-30T03:31:00.000-07:00

First week of holidays so shaggifying already, almost collapsed today:(

Haha but i found a dam great book, the chinese book that we are suppose to be reading for the test when school reopen, it is really very amazing, till i read it 5 times already. That's what kept me awake till 3am in mornings, well when did i become a bookworm, when the last series i really read through was Alex Rider in P6.

I think maybe i should have slept more:(

And of course, smile more with all the rain and shine:)

Argh, i want to sleep again, i'd just have to keep awake for the weekend, alot of things happening again. I cant wait for Sunday night, at least take a good breather before a even more crazy week 2 starts.

Well, Rinjani COULD be worst, and so could the last week of holidays. Guess what?

Nothing:)

Just learn to smile more, cause it is truly powerfully contagious:D

G-101

2008-05-27T02:54:00.000-07:00

Fine, I lost my directions again; lost what to look forward to

Lost my drive; my passion

And i am back to square one-

Come on man, i need the mood

The new start, NEW;

I want it to be there;

See it happen, materialise

Sink or swim;

Feel like i am sinking,

Do or don't do,

feel like not doing anymore;

I need the new beginning

G-100

2008-05-24T21:56:00.001-07:00

100th post;

Day before the start of my holidays, June Holidays;

Maybe it is far from any kind of holidays i've experienced.

I am stuck with this impossible schedule to meet, no where to start, so much to do and so much to think about. For goodness sake, we only have 30 days max.

I just love this challenge man.

And i am finding something new in the holidays too. Great.

Well, recapping, being Mr. Bunny was quite fun, the response was good at the very least. And managed to get quite a lot of people so it wasn't a wasted trip.

I am so going to win.

Everything at once, becomes an avalanche;

but still must catch the 3 balls.

I think there is so much more to it than just going through it blindly. Honestly, i am abit intimidated by the sheer size of it.

Still, it is a challenge.

A challenge i cant avoid.

A challenge to take on.

A challenge to defeat.

Why, how else then? I have to get started somewhere.

Head towards all my goals.

And be there to see it happen infront of my eyes.

G-100,

Great 100.

This time, it's with the spirit.

I need a new start. That's all.

A fresh new beginning~

2008-05-18T09:05:00.000-07:00

99th post;

Will stop here,

Until that day arrives, I'll be waiting~

T-45

2008-05-17T06:33:00.000-07:00

Dead;

for the past few days cause of Open House, really busy, so sorry to disappoint (if any at all) that i chose sleep over posting. Yeah, well Open House was alright, Ups and Downs as expected. Got sunburnt again and abrasion due to sweating too much. Well still trying to find my ball, my good old ball which is already like 7 years old. Good memories, of how i used to play around with the P6 kids in my neighbourhood when i was P2.

I think, will take time to reflect and value-add Open House, but for tonight, just want to block out everything and be at peace for the first time since term started.

Out of the doubt that fills my mind~

T-44

2008-05-13T05:34:00.000-07:00

You and I; Collide

Survived today, with a heavy strain on my eyes throughout the day. Especially on the left one. Yeah i guess it is purely due to just fatigue. Well today's agenda is rather slack, but there is alot for the next 5 days. Then again i don't feel like doing work in advance to lighten up the load since i really need my precious sleep tonight. I guess i'll stick to what i planned. Well some unexpected tests just popped up, have to deal with it, looks like they don't ever give us a break.

And i found out about how great a leader can be with his people-power and encouragements.

And how pleasant it is to actually sit down and talk sentimentally.

Still need the presence, not daring to converse because i feel to loose it halfway inevitably. I need to stop deceiving myself.

Out of the corner comes a light~

T-43

2008-05-12T07:40:00.000-07:00

I really need to revise already, to catch up on all the concepts and i hope i have the time during the Hols, which is apparently hell. Open House is presenting itself to be a big challenge man, but i love that challenge till something actually start screwing up, for now i guess i have to work really hard for this week with everything, like literally alot of stuff.

And theres alot of problems regarding fight or flight, not for me, but some other group of people. I need to help them decide somehow, better soon than later before the whole flock starts flying away.

I need to squeeze my life harder for time, currently super shagged and i really need my sleep, though still got PBQ tmr, closed book. Well we just got that info today, that is why we never know what we are going to get. I'll just mug the concepts and forget about the qoutes for now.

Need to focus on task now, cut away stray thoughts. Life will only get harder, so no point complaining. And all the best to the Hillary Challenge team man. I admit this is the most random post i ever made.

Even the best falls down sometimes~

T-43

2008-05-10T22:00:00.000-07:00

All pain fades with time, it's just how long it takes.

Really hasn't been sleeping enough these few days, need to get my biological clock back in order to brace myself for the last 2 weeks of school, hopefully time flies. For this time.

Actually, there is no need to be jealous if you have trust, in yourself, or your ability, or others. Jealousy is just that faint sense of insecruity we all have in us as humans and how our logical mind tries to fight it back with trust. I think there is always a reason why we have feelings and logic, most of the time, they contradict. Go figure, you'd discover alot by yourself.

And weird thing is, i heard the sound of the seas and waves in my spectacle box. Is it just me or is it totally cool? Well, whatever it is, i have found a new source of soothing music which is portable. Though it really looks retarded to hold that awkward thing to my ear while sitting on the bus right? So not going to try that.

Doing work planning again, looking at things, i hope open house will be a even more rewarding experience than what we have taken on so far. We'll see and learn, somehow looking forward to it a little but things aint in place yet, exactly what i am about to start on now.

I chose again, but right or wrong?

T-42

2008-05-10T05:46:00.000-07:00

说到就该做到, 不管心的奢望如何,痛处多么的深, 还是要下定决心, 铁了心肠走到底, 这样才算是个堂堂正正的男子汉.

T-41

2008-05-10T03:11:00.000-07:00

Courageless and cowardly,

The tests are more or less over, with what is left is bascially a Timed PBQ in the lab (not sure if it is counted yet) and a Philo Quiz and CCT. But there is still so much more stuff to do, for e.g. Open House, Concept essay, Blog 2, Social Advocacy Letter and Final Proposal. Not forgetting how mad the June Hols would be with the Rinjani trip, RE sales, Band competition and a load of Lit work. And of course it just gets worst with the coming of Term 3 and handover.

Thinking through life, I don't really get a proper break till the Sec4 Dec Hols, abit saded right, but it is more or less the same as say at least 30%-40% of the population. The whole point is to be caught admist all this busyness and not have anytime for anything out of schedule, once in a while maybe, we decide to catchup on people around us whom were once invisible.

Yet there are always excuses that about not keeping in touch due to the whirlpool of bombarding events in life. No matter how tough things get, the time on the busrides, the time while walking home, the time while just doing nothing in that short break inbetween lessons, the time while on the move, the time while staring at the ceiling and blanking out moments before sleep hit. All that time will always be there, small gaps of time, just how we make use of it to hold things dear to us just as close as before, no matter how heavy going life gets.

And i don't mean we have to spend all our private time out, and leave nothing to ourselves, and holding things close does not mean you have to make any form of physical contact or communication, like always, the thought and the heart is enough to count, to make the next small precious moments 2 friends have together even more special due to the wait, the anxiousness and of course the rarity of it in our lives.

Strong and brave,

I choose~

T-40

2008-05-09T07:02:00.000-07:00

杂念常在我们脑中出现,

有危害别人的,

有不顾别人的,

有无情的,

也有毒素的,

我们通通该扔的一干二净.

想是一回事, 做是另一回事, 别搞乱了, 有些事, 想就行了, 尝试去做, 会搞砸一切.

又有些东西, 藏着该好些, 也快乐些.

想做, 又不知道有没有那个毅力,

继续想吧,

毕竟想跟做好不一样,

做了就无可回头了.

卧着; 睡着了...

T-40

2008-05-08T05:23:00.000-07:00

痛时痛得心酸

兴时兴得甜蜜

哪一个比较多, 并不重要, 重要的还是要珍惜自己心爱的感受. 就算是短暂的, 留在记忆中, 脑海深处, 时时挖掘出来, 幸福的感觉也自然会涌回来.

痛了, 也要稳重的忍下来, 熬过去了, 总会有一闪眼间的快乐, 看到了也觉得一切都是值得的, 不曾浪费过一分一秒,崩离析一处伤感.

远近都无所谓, 只要看的到你眼中的快乐就行了.

朋友一场, 不必谢~

T-40

2008-05-06T06:40:00.000-07:00

Perspective,

And I saw it coming, yet it hit so much harder than how i thought it would, now the pressure heightens, must perform.

To the best, not in my knowledge, but according to what others know me by, that sucks big time man.

I'm going to need your help.

Time<48hours

T-39

2008-05-05T01:37:00.000-07:00

A crazy 3 and a half days starting from this moment onwards. But I'll tide through I guess, one way or another. Sad thing is, cant make it for match against 3T tommorrow, really feeling lousy about that.

Looking forward to bright neon light ahead, well lacking the cash though, and the license as well.

Others pretend, they dont care anymore. If you wanna fight, I'll stand right beside you, the day that you fall, I'll be right behind you. To pick up the pieces, if you dont believe me, just look into my eyes, coz the heart never lies.

Woah!

Indecisions again, life always bring me to its many crossroads, the best of it, it's just the begining.

Deep inside me, I can be the one~

T-39

2008-05-04T01:03:00.000-07:00

Things are in a mess, yet when i take a step back and not think into too detail, it seem to fall into place. It'll come and I'll just take it as it is i guess, so much to handle, so little time, so much obligation, so little motivation, so much work to do, however, so much strength to face them:)

牵牵牵牵手,一起走到最后, 我们开心的梦游~

T-38

2008-05-03T05:05:00.000-07:00

When one needle figuratively prick through two overlapping hearts, fear arbata, it hurts just as much. But when it pricks one without the other, and it stains the other with its blood, it becomes worst.

I pray hard for your alrightness, it will definitely come, definitely, and I hope we all are walking the right path, I believe we are.

I wish it could kill me instead of you~

T-38

2008-05-02T08:13:00.001-07:00

Let us not see what aint meant for us to see, what others do not wish for us to see, not because of mistrust, but just no feeling enough or energy to say it out. No need to, I try to timely convince myself of that.

Let all hide out things not meant to be shown, not meant to affect a joyous mood, let show none others wish not to see, not because of lack or care, just careless indifference and indulgence. No need to, I try to timely convince myself of that.

Let try to hide away from each other, and still show acts of concern reaping no return or answers, not lack of mutual understanding, just respect, not wanting to affect each other's mood. No need to, I try to timely convince myself of that.

Let move on away from things that do not correspond for ages, events meant for dreamland and Disney alone, not stubborness, but grasping for short-lasting moments that speed past. No need to, I try to timely convince myself of that.

Let not the feeling show, not because it is heading in the wrong way, but it just needs time, a long long time, before it matures fully. No need to, I try to timely convince myself of that.

Let the tears finally flow, admist the smile still concots that faint sense of ever-diminishing sadness, fading away with every personal effort, in face of every giant of a challenge. Yet still motivated to go the extra mile. Why? Because both pillars cannot crumble together, the one here will stand sturdy and tall no matter what.

It is not fake, nothing is, all is made real with effort. Convince me it is worth it, so I may have strength to continue. I will do what I can, given all limitations not meant to be crossed over.

That tugging heart string, let it be calm;

and strong as well~

T-37

2008-04-30T23:36:00.000-07:00

So we are lighting up the whole fire again? Heh let's just try and fuel it up and burn it, it'll show some resemblence of a proper path soon.

People love to cut people's tails, then attach a hose there with a cap. When our idea gets taken over, I dont expect us to succumb that easily? Injustice to efforts again, no way.

That blob of self-centered jelly within everyone of us, just how we prevent it from acting, sometimes it shows when your appearance crumbles. And I saw it, again.

Strengthening a crumbling facade, so challenging~

T-36

2008-04-30T08:59:00.000-07:00

Starring into the night skies, wishing upon the same bright star, sleeping underneath the same big sky.

Acting on different minds, different feelings and evoking different results.

T-35

2008-04-30T05:44:00.000-07:00

Belief-> Self Esteem->Behaviour

Going through that today, I felt a connection with the truth and am glad to know i am on the right road and heading in the right direction.

I think i need to reorganise my time, to accommodate certain stuff in this next 10 packed and exciting days. Well, I'll figure it out over Labour day, literally we'd be doing hard labour, instead of celebrating it.

I found so much potential in different people today, we'll see how it all plays out, I think i am gifted with the ability to sight different people and I am indeed thankful for that.

Come what may, I will fly high. Care not all the obstacles in the way, they all vanish with all the strength and valiant efforts in those wings, motivated by a tinge of your happiness, a bleak of a tiny crack of your smile.

My words last night, believe them, being words from the bottom of my heart~

T-35

2008-04-29T07:47:00.000-07:00

My wings feel stiff from old aches and sentiments, but my mind wants the way out, eventually it will prevail. Wet feathers still makes flight with enough mental strength.

I am glad, it did not show~

T-35

2008-04-29T03:38:00.000-07:00

Just as we were stumped by Shaun's question at our mini Lit' conference today; "What are you going to do with the 10,000 cash you have taken over from the Norwagien lord?" Nick Wong who was acting as Duncan (king of scotland) replied " Buy new armour for Macbeth" and the whole class roared with laughter. If only every Lit class was like creative peer teaching, yet another dream.

Sometimes, I prepare so well for take off, checked every single component, matched every little feature and counter-checked further, but at the moment of take-off, something either uncontrollable or external force just forces for an undesireable outcome. I know I have prepared so well because it was performance under pressure, extreme pressure. Yet the results are unable to celebrate my effort, infact they are way disproportionate. To blame yourself's inadequecy and lack of effort is one thing, to under-achieve when you had worked so hard is yet another. And of course, the pressure will come down harder in reality than others think.

Yet, no complaints, nothing at all. I will keep trying in this very way, because it will shed light for I definitely know my route is right. Double-checked and vetted over by veterans, I hate to not show the capability and be blamed by the ignorant for it, still, no words, no complaints. It's right down to the end, even if the next chance is far off and the period in between is going to be difficult to endure.

Just like the flight route you chose for me, it is filled with immense pain, yet it is not painful, not at all. For such long periods I've been dryily toiling my wings as they attempt to lift me high without thermals. But have i doubted that soaring is possible? Soaring is the way? The thermals will come eventually, even if they dont, one day my wings and feathers will be so seasoned from hardship that the thermals won't matter on my way up to the skies. Don't dampen it all with your dis-trust, for it makes it all harder. Give me hope and I will have a direction to head into, a cloud to reach for at every other point, even if it is blown adrift before i reached it, I'd have climbed alot higher and stood there glancing down and watching with blessings. Guarding as always, no matter where you go.

With all the tears, I always find it easy to smile:")

相信我吧~

T-34

2008-04-28T05:29:00.000-07:00

When we hit that huge bump, we get a big shock.

I got a shock as well just like everyone else, leaves my wings trembling. Yet i look down and see you falling back onto the flower bed of beautiful flowers, the feeling is ironic because i know you belong there and i don't. I will take flight while you nurture in the soil, one day perhaps, you'll see what I see and hope onto my wings, and crown the skies of the savanahs.

For these long journey before you join me, my wings crumple with the soft feathers, however I still soar as far as I can, you'd see a glimpse of me in the skies, while you enjoy the company of your dear flowers, I'll swoop down and pick you up when all is settled and you're ready to set off, even if that day never comes, I'll still be circling and guarding the space above you, always.

All the tears, pain, envy, worthwhile for a short but lasting moment of happiness in your eyes~

T-34

2008-04-27T06:44:00.001-07:00

Please help us complete this very short survey, no joke, just tick 10 boxes. Thank you in advance:D

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=zggJzQ6t3Fs3zj7TxtmycA_3d_3d

Any suggestions can leave on my tagboard as well. Thanks again.

T-33

2008-04-27T03:55:00.000-07:00

A break,
That's all we need sometimes, we we look upon all the heaps and piles tumbling down on us, we'd just take a good break and it'd feel lighter. Next 7 days is going to be hectic/fired up with all kinds of things ranging from academics to social stuff, yet i look forward to it, to feel intense and to feel packed and on the move, instead of having to purposely busy yourself with nothing at all.

I look forward to that break, all the more unique and special.

When you stand on the ledge and watch that flower of yours blosom in the sunshine, all the more you cant help smiling at the sight and feeling contented, all the sacrifices, times and feelings are all worthwhile. I'd be ready to soar, now. And I'll pick you up with me as well as we ride those thermals. High up and above, with the Eagle's eye view, looking back at the past mistakes and knowing which route to fly now, even if it is filled with more turbulents, there would definitely be a paradise at the edge of the storm.

That flower, You'd be stuck on me for ages to go, cause we all hold that common belief, how we express it, it really doesn't matter.

Happiness; When all falls into place for you~

T-33

2008-04-26T05:32:00.000-07:00

Looking deep into the hearts of those around you to understand where you should be heading and your place in the entire scheme of things. Yet you cannot consider everyone's stand equally, having to prioritize and choose has always been one of the hardest things in life. But when we all snap out of that phase and walk the road we chose, I would for one accept whatever is coming cause i chose it myself and i know there will never be a perfect decision.

Heck all that others nag about your mistake in judgement, practically there is mistake in every judgement, but since you cannot turn around to correct it, strode down it bravely and strive for what I had set out for. I know the roads are bumpy but i also know they are enriching, 玉不琢, 不成器. I have laid down my own cards and i will play them wisely my way, calculating and taking risks of course, all but for a burning vision right from the start.

Now i understand how important the flaming star is, sometimes it shines sometimes it dulls, that is rather inevitable, but when its dull we fuel it, when it shines we spread it, that is how the flame of passion works. Yet thinking of taking on the torch is no easy feat, for as Najoma and of course Uncle Ben once said "With great power, comes great responsibility"

I will bear it all with support, i know that from all of you out there behind me, as the days go by, I realise more and more people pillaring me from falling. Continue to discover the silent waters.

Still you~

T-32

2008-04-25T05:58:00.000-07:00

Complete I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling...

Someone clipped my wings and i am determined to defeat him/her no matter what. I will soar through the rest of the term with all the heavy burdens on those shoulders, one pair of shoulders taking on tons of weight. Yet still i must fly high, out far and high.

I'll ride those thermals, my boosts of strength, my motivational thoughts which are self-generated and fuelled. Even if it is depleted, it runs on anything it could find, that is how powerful the mind is, and how sorry it is for itself that it should be the first to admit that it is "sorry".

And i don't regret this life you chose for me, but i have to strengthen my;

Facade...

T-32

2008-04-24T07:44:00.000-07:00

I dont know what it means by "it ends here", but,

Whatever makes you smile, whatever I'll commit regardless of anything~

T-31

2008-04-24T05:00:00.000-07:00

Let the Eagle within us soar. I have finally decided to do that, now whatever may come in my way as obstacles and challenges i will take it by its horns even if it pricks and pokes. When i come out at the end of the year i believe the chick would have grown into the Eagle.

Yet I know it would not be possible without the support of my friends, and also the importance of how to place each one of them in their niche areas to perform and lead in their own unique ways. When we take on this glory for 60th it is something we share together, always One 60th.

However, balancing it with the rest of all the commitments around, I will still strive for it. Why? Because no matter how mentally painful and searing it is, there will always be moments, even if they are the shortest, when I will feel it deep down inside. Even if it is a brief spurt and exemplification, I still know the blosom of the Pink flower is always there and;

I will live and smile for you~

T-30

2008-04-23T06:51:00.000-07:00

Wanting to release, yet must control, hold on to that strong facade and occassionally show that small glimpse, really small ones of dismay.

I'll be alright...the 2 undoeable methods, the second one i predict is going to come...and i am not ready at all even at the thought.

T-29

2008-04-23T06:09:00.000-07:00

Feel un-ready

Feel un-steady

Feel un-prepared

Feel un-acknolwedged

Feel underneath that strong facade

Feels like being right where i am now

The Blue flower seems like it is bearing the poisonous fruit.

2008-04-22T03:56:00.000-07:00

really busy today,
cant really afford to say much. really sorry, i just realised how screwed i am for math, cos i seem to be forgetting loads of stuff.

yea i'll be okay.
will be back soon.

(:

T-28

2008-04-21T05:37:00.000-07:00

I have this yellow Nike bottle filled with sour Coca Cola, but when i bring it to class, the teachers wont know. But the Coke tastes so disgusting to drink, still that doesnt mean I should force feed the disgusting Coke to my friends to drink, so mean. But pouring them away seems such a waste, eventually bit by bit it'll go.

But still, my bottle will stink of that rotten Coke drink. As time go by, it'll smell better though, I'll toast it to everyone, when it is all settled and done.

Days are officially Ended.

T-27

2008-04-20T08:58:00.000-07:00

There is all so much i can promise, all so much that i can do, and all so much that i cannot achieve with this one simple life which i have. I feel like a consumer, consumed by the supermarket? What a weird analogy.

Ironically we do Macbeth now, with all his ambition comes his downfall, maybe my tragic end is near too? Or should i be glad to be part of a Shakespearean Masterpiece? A noble beginning, a declining process and a disastrous end. I am in the second phase now, folding on towards the 3rd.

List me down in the names of yokieeledues i probably end up with a negative sign. something like this:

-----Jin Fu

It is similar to boxing up yourself in this small little room, and sucking the air out of it.

So we do not breathe anymore, but we still live, so are we alive or dead?

Perhaps that we, is everyone, just that we all have that different perspective on how this comes by.

If you look in that small little room, you see small vicious cycle everywhere all around, and how much it all comes down to the hate part.

We learn to love before we hate, that is only when the real hate comes, so we embrace love before we start to hate it, for all that it is slicing our throat with the dagger of its inability of mastery.

You blow my mind into that hollow space up there, pink flowers, i just love them. Yet i sowed those seeds of misfortune for myself, am i going to hate myself now? out of everyone else, it is myself. I have taken so much and yet given so much as well.

When you walk into that room, you feel agushed with this powerful vile of hope. Just like how i feel when i walk into the brand new room, but soon all the old past comes back to haunt you.

They drain you, they crane you, they lizard you, w/e man. They just hate you so much that they constantly entangles you. Or issit just me?

对不起

I cant find any other phrase, nothing else fits, even that is just uncomparable to the true feeling of regret and remorse.

Start again, same spot, same square, same end, different still, for the sake of all the experiences in between.

T-27

2008-04-20T08:54:00.000-07:00

My share of a bad day, really. My deepest apologies to RC and you as well, for all the injustice i have done.

The start is already so weak, furthermore the process? Spare me all that please, i want to get out.

T-26

2008-04-20T07:41:00.000-07:00

Completed work which is good, but did not manage to do extras which is kind of bad, but oh wells, just did some brainstorming for my essays. And lucky Arun, he don't have those few pieces to complete for Lit, quote " you'd give anything to get what's fair, but fair aint what's you really need".

Torn apart by the clash, nature vs obligation, you vs myself, passion and ambition vs commitment and priority. What a life i lead, so torturous, so enriching.

Day 27: So much i realised, pink flowers.

T-26

2008-04-20T05:30:00.000-07:00

I am always here,no matter what~

对不起..让你担心了.

T-26

2008-04-19T22:15:00.000-07:00

I doubt i am going to make it for anything now. The load of work is rather intimidating. In all forms that may come to me. I'll eat bullets, but not those seeds of hatred, never.

Slept on the bus home, and the bus seats were like mini-sofa kind o.0 well they made the seat so small that i couldnt lean properly on it. I think i must have dropped my wallet countless times when sleeping coz i vaguely remember waking up to pick it up. And miraculously i woke up just as the bus was pulling over to my stop. Years of riding on MRTs and buses simply trains that instinct.

Work. Wonderful man, just so wonderfully disgusting. Coz at the end you feel accomplished and that you didn't waste your day away, its just the decision and determination required to go through it. Most of the time we have enough time, we just cant set down and really get to it.

Day 26: And i am afraid i won't even know if i can make that change, even more painful for myself by staying in this spot, please help me get out, but i cant promise anything so soon.

T-25

2008-04-19T06:39:00.000-07:00

The feeling of empty gasps in your lungs, a motion in your chest.

With the palpitation of the heart, so intense it really wants to come out.

Everything is trying to kill me, whether intentionally or never wanted to. I am so not going to be killed, all the scars, I have already been slashed so many times and I am not dead. So why should I be killed now?

Because i am long dead.

T-25

2008-04-19T02:50:00.000-07:00

An even more mundane day. Out of all days it should be a saturday, stuck at home, sleep eat work relax.

Productivity is probably only 60% so far, suppose to soar tonight, oh well as long as i do not fall asleep on my chair and wake up 6am the next morning again, with my com burning like a hot babe.

I better steady myself for the netx few weeks, like do some good pacing, if not i'll end up chionging like crazy for some point of time, something too strenuous to take for myself esepecially with so many other important non-academic stuff coming up, and i mean really important.

Our social advocacy project is really gonna be quite useful for the school, just hope it gets approved, then can save all those precariousness of sliding down the bloody slope to get the ball every once in a while.

Day 25: And even though i know how very far apart we are, maybe you'll know soon too.

T-24

2008-04-18T07:45:00.000-07:00

Watching the seconds tick by and waiting for something to happen.

Cant she tell that he cant breathe?

T-24

2008-04-18T05:01:00.000-07:00

Strong mundaneness today, full academic heavy going day, somemore feeling so sick.

Came home and slept through the afternoon.

There is one thing that we always have to go through in school life, these 4 weeks of hell.

Feel like crap again.

Day 24: I like walking in the rain, you dont see anth about a person in the rain.

T-23

2008-04-17T05:17:00.000-07:00

Today, mundane again. Slugging through the first few periods thinking about the SS CCT, so no life. When they announced the Battery Collection competition, top class for sec1 had 200++ batteries, sec2 200++ batteries, sec3 34 batteries-.- Shows how we cant be bothered with it.

SS CCT i was frantically writing, last minute look through found that i was writing rubbish, like phyiscally there only at the test. So i basically spammed 4 pages of rubbish, pure "wallace" style rubbish, i think i wont score at all. And my SS is already like screwed due to the stupid project.

Rest of the day was slack, and basically doing some not really stimulating stuff. Came home ate lunch and danced around the house on pure adrenaline till i hit the bed and just snored like mad (according to my sis) woke up feeling cold coz the fan was at full blast and i didn't wear my shirt -.-" How smart of me man.

And my sis got full marks for her spelling bee:D Frantically hopping around the house now. And she hid behind my room curtains and went like "I AM A MONSTER" and attempts to claw me...wth. Ok bascially, she has quite a deprived childhood. Dam tired, woke up today with my leg cramping away.Bad.

Day 23: Find rest my soul, soon i hope.

T-22

2008-04-16T05:50:00.000-07:00

Super slack day, had a free period which we spent playing soccer and got released early for match support for squash.

Super exciting match man haha. The first 2 guys lost to ACS 3 games to 0, then the supporters dam demoralised and refused to cheer. 3rd guy won back, he did alot of tricks though, but we still couldnt afford to loose even a single guy. 4th one was the most exciting, watch can get heart attack. It was between RI's no.1 and ACS's no.1 and that ACS(i) guy purposely pull his socks dam high, trying to be funny. So we were down by 2 games to 0 again, meaning one more game lost we loose. But our guy outlasted the ACS guy, every point from then onwards was super intense and heart wrenching man and all of us cheered like mad, totally madness and we see our guy making the fight for come back, 1-2, 2-2, eventually winning 3-2. Last guy supposedly the deciding fight, was really no fight because they were so demoralised. Their lineup was in a way that they did not even expect the last guy to play, so when their best guy lost it was like it was already over. It was indeed a superb match man, so freaking nice to watch. And i see that real Rafflesian spirit, burning so bright and well.

Came back and slept, and i drooled while sleeping on the bus-.-" so embarrassing. Well i don't know what's going to happen to Drill 1 test also, since the match ended too late to go back.

Now i need to focus and mug my SS CCT, which is supposedly hell. Crap, scared like crap, got my PR1 back, not very pleasing, but i know i will do much better this term, actually i have to, it's really a must.

Day 22: All the other flowers looks like nothing compared to the beauty of that orange flower.

T-21

2008-04-15T07:16:00.000-07:00

Tuesday, Sickening day.

Literally and figuratively. Woke up to find my computer burning to the ground. Yes it did fire up a little after being left there for the whole night. Went to school and had 5 continuous academic periods, followed by tuition. Alright, on my way back home, a 35min bus ride became a 1 hour 45min bus ride. And i got a motion sickness for the first time since P4? Not to mention i vomitted after i got off, last time that happened i was still playing with my power ranger figurine, yes it's true and i vomitted all over it. The bus was like, start stop start stop start stop, playing with my stomache. Came home, and slept till 10pm. Ok my dreams of doing work all shattered-.-

And i just realised today how the madness is really beginning, especially for Lit, so all those non-Lit people don't whine please. Yes, you'd bawl if you know what we are in for.

I swear i am going to shave someone bald soon. Sure do.

Day 21: Short air drawn dagger, the image of the organs reminds me how sick the body is.

T-20

2008-04-14T04:07:00.000-07:00

Full academic day. Mondays man.

Dao-ed Jon Ed for the whole day haha so bloody fun. Ok rephrase, i tried to, but only Hz succeeded. Really cannot stand his spasms.

Chem CCT was alright i guess, shalln't say much till results actually comes out. Came home and had a really bad bad headache, still having it now. Makes me unable to study, or sleep.

Alot to complete in the week. Chinese project, Mabeth Portfolio notes and Mugging for SS CCT which is like *blur* What a screwed up week man, infact all the way till week 8 it'll probably be like that.

And i realise how true somethings can be, more true than i ever thought it would be.

Day 20: Little glimpse of hope, unlikely though. Fly too high, crash harder.

T-19

2008-04-13T04:21:00.000-07:00

Took me a whole day, to go through half of all the stuff that kept popping up every now and then last night. I realised alot of course, and alot needs to be done. Well yet we live in such a place that we don't have the time to do them, at least not all of them. A very sad fact, to an extent we do not even have time to go through all our thoughts before forcing back to reality to follow our obligations.

Of all that needs to be done, i must at least do the most important 2. I need to squeeze that tight sponge for more water, yes of course more time. In the end, there still be air gaps, gaps of time left.

Term 2's madness is just beginning. Bad start, strong end. I hope that applies to everything that is happening. Literally everything if you look at it.

I saw my life in the split section of a dumpling i was eating at dinner.

Day 19: I am definitely sure now, the sky is clear.

T-18

2008-04-12T08:30:00.000-07:00

Just got back home. Having a very weird mixture of feelings. Too tired to blog, all in all, today was just pure tiring.

Alot left to complete for the weekend. Orange flower is prettier in my eyes.

Day 18: Just the sight is too much.

T-17

2008-04-11T06:17:00.000-07:00

Performance was quite alright, screwed up abit but made up for it in the second part. PE was nothing at all since i arrived so late, well we played soccer and guess what, i was super-off, ok blame no-one. And i smartly managed to screw my right toe nail, so talented right?

EL make-up lesson was like,ok quite bad, really tempting to sleep. But still managed to keep awake, quite torturing. Went for lunch at RJ and talked crap for quite a while before going for Band, and proceeding to loose my Shirt. I am really talented.

ORA day tommorrow. Going to be quite boring i guess, prepared some stuff to go and mug, since i guess the Courts and Field probably going to be filled with people. So just stone around and entertain some random customers who actually bothers to come to my stall. At least got time to mug Chem CCT which is like next Mon?

What's after that then is really nice man. A series of madness fun haha at Ben and Captain's house. So must mug everything first then can play with ease for the afternoon and evening. Speaking of which, i have no idea to write that essay against torture. Any bright ideas?

I feel i am dam jacked man, missed out on so much stuff, including your stuff and your stuff too.
Then got owned by your stuff too. At least that buzzing purple bee is gone.

Day 17: Fall to whole

T-16

2008-04-10T05:47:00.000-07:00

Boring periods, Rehersal after school plus abit of Bball thereafter.

Really nothing up or down today just a buzzing straight green line. Quite alot of things to remember to do though.

-Return the cards
-Buy superglue
-Get the groceries
-Bring LK's scores
-Get my EL and LIT files

Yes i hope i don't forget any. Act blur live longer.

Performance tommorrow, to open the ARTS SPACE? Apart from a design which isnt even done by our students, i don't see anything new to open. Alright maybe there are new stuff in the design center but it still sure looks the same to me. Might want to check it out sometime later. Again very blur, i will last longer.

Yes i know what you guys are talking about, the point is, i know everyone all got their own set of stressful problems to them, but i post all these is for myself to say out, not for others to sympathize. Because obviously, i am rather fortunate in a sense and unfortunate in another sense. You can read if you want to, what impression you get, is up to your own interpretation. What it really means for me, is for me to know and you to find out.

Line up tommorrow is BEN-JOHN-MAX-KIERAN-ARUN---> ME. Yeah all those guys jiayou, Design center probably gonna turn deaf anyway haha. Anyone whos free during recess just come down and watch.

And i saw this funny buzzing little purple bee while i was staring at the purple flower, and that purple bee just pricked me abit, maybe it's going to sting, but i still contemplating about that nice purple flower.

Day 16: One man's wine barrel bottom is another man's shield. Look how different it is, the classes of people. I'd grab that shield.

T-15

2008-04-09T06:20:00.000-07:00

Screwed to the core. I realise somethings you look forward to still eventually let you down nonetheless, sooner or later.

Get off the tracks coz the freight train is coming, pressure too.

I stare at the purple colored pretty flower in the orchard, but i shall not pluck it off.

Day 15: Silence is one man's meat, another man's poison.

T-14

2008-04-08T07:02:00.000-07:00

Worst than yesterday.

More screwed up stuff piling ontop, out of focus like totally.

Shot past the board, way off target.

Day 14: You'd give anything to get what's fair, but fair aint what you really need

T-13

2008-04-07T06:08:00.001-07:00

Physics flunked, my only hope of salvation also GG. Plus all the crap that fell ontop.

Just a screwed up day, just another one of those typical days. Just feel like going to sleep soon, just feel like not touching any work. Just feel like...not typing anymore.

Day 13: You're the reason for the teardrops on my guitar, the only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star.

T-12

2008-04-06T04:32:00.000-07:00

Stop and Stare!

Yes that's what i did and i drew a good sketch today.

Ok waiting for the taxi was really one hell of an experience. I waited for a while and 2 of them came, both saying they are not going in my direction, probably heading home for lunch and only taking customers on their way. Alright fine, it happens sometimes so yeah i thought it was ok. The 3rd one came, and the guy spoke Malay non-stop? wth?! Apparantly his english is either not english or cannot be understood, so i got abit pissed off as i got off and he drove off. Immediately after which, i hailed another one and this guy, flashed his headlights at me in broad day light?! wth??!!

Starting to sound bad? well not yet. An idian man apparantly thought i was invisible and walked past me, went 100m infront of me and stood there, waiting for a taxi. Ok i got dam pissed, so i walked up to him and told him nicely to let me go first. He dao-ed me and walked further?! Freak, and eventually he got the taxi. Following which, another family of 4, also indian, not showing my prejudice, just coincidence, went ahead of me knowing i was there and snatched another cab. Ok really bad.

All this while my phone was off since it was flat of any battery, then i managed to on it and i realised i have been waiting for an hour++ Dam stupid right, the whole point of cab is move from one point to another quickly. The trap is that, the longer you wait, the more impossible for you to give up the wait. Apparently alot of Taxi driver dao-ed me also-.-" Alright, i expect comments about that.

Came home and slept 5 hours straight. Woke up did my work pretty quickly, so basically what is left is just revising for Physics, which i cant make sense of and discussing Chinese project. And checking my EL marks of course.

Well pretty bad day, but i always think something nice will happen at the end, still waiting man.

Day 12: Hump ahead, slow down. Maybe you should stop and stare and you might see what i see.
Nothing but trouble.

T-11

2008-04-05T06:44:00.000-07:00

Shagged. But not as Shagged as our AQers.

Stay over was alright, couldn't really sleep well cause the classroom was freaking cold. Alright slept for about 4hours, woke up to a Mcbreakfast? Totally spoiled my appetite:( Alright, at least the Burger wasn't that disgusting. I am lazy to talk about what really happened, but basically our guys came in 8th,5th, and 3rd for Open team. Dam good stuff i say since their first time in Boy's Category. Though our 5th placing got disqualified, due to some retarded protocol kind of stuff and confusion, they still belong to that place in us. In short, we had the bunch of most hardcore and Zai runners who pushed themselves to madness, and a crazily amazing Support Team as well, or Pit crew as you put it. AQ 08 came and went as a blast with 60th's effort, together. I believe we leave no regrets and learn new lessons, after all, all are MANLY MAN!:)

Our guys simply rock.

Ok really really shagged. youtube.come became touyube.com somehow and in the search bracket, i typed "youtube".Wth-.-

So after that went for soccer, basically the score was stuck at 2-2 from say 7pm till 7.45pm. All trying to score and of course it grew increasingly difficult to see anything, even the white goalpost. Eventually we won, sweated like a dog. Went to feast sinfully on Macs later on to grow some fats-.-, and talked crap till we decided to go home and all sleep like pigs. Guess i waiting for someone to tell me about what happened at Flag Day.

Day 11:"Stop and Stare, i think i'm moving but i don't know where/ Start to wonder why you're here and not there."

T-11

2008-04-04T00:23:00.000-07:00

Friday.

Odd week fridays are really really boring ok. Like alright, Chinese was super slack. Had TING XIE haha and i got full marks somemore:D Afterwards just read DuZhe but in the end, we just started talking crap and all kinds of random stuff, dont know how we manage to catch up with syllabus when all we do for chinese class most of the time is just, doing work in class and slacking around. But that's good lorh no hmk to bring home and do.

After which 3 more lessons. Chem, coz it was a new topic to learn so i payed my fullest attention, or at least whatever i could muster and i am quite glad coz i got it all in my head le, haha selective attention span.

After school went for Inter-class against 3A. Alright, their team was alot stronger, and they were dam serious. First class to get jerseys also. We lost 0-1, the shot was ok put it this way, nice and with luck at the same time. It went through a tiny gap basically and it came from the left. At first i thought it was an out, but ya it was in. But at least we knew that we played much better than before, with sup's sprained ankle somemore. Generally, our team played better, just that we didnt have someone who could do a swift finish, alot of chances though. Yah but their team was good too, now we know, we aint at the bottom, looking at how we pressurised them today. Good job guys, dun need to be disappointed, as long as we are constantly improving ourselves every match.

Ok band got cancelled and i got this last minute message to inform the sec1s, but apprently the word got around so it was alright. At home now, taking a break before going off for AQ support team. A few more hours to the competition tmr man, our guys are going to rock! Yeah i have so much faith in them, after all the efforts and hardwork over the last 5 months. I'll post about it after tmr. Anw, i got my haircut today, like finally, and no i did not shave bald haha.

I shall go take a nap now.

Day 10: lovely, i swept you out for 12hours at the very least.

T-10

2008-04-03T04:38:00.000-07:00

I just read an emotional blog. A real good one i'd say. Emo is nothing wrong, really, for example i am a hybrid, being a spasmo. Alright that is beside the point. Emo is not equals to masochistically cutting yourself or doing stupid things and thinking about suidcide all day. More of a feeling of rich emotions, or being flooded/spammed more than others around you.

When you build that dam for your own emotions from young, alot of factors do come in so some people's might be weaker than the others, and it really does not help if you simply label them as Emo people, they never really like to wear that brand everywhere they go and listen to comments of " hey that person is dam emo". Just thought i should clear it up before i go on.

So i see, emoness or that term that we use to call the degree of emo of a person is more dependent on attitude and of course surrounding environment. Some people just cant be bothered about grades while to others it means everything, then again it might be due to pressure from parents etc. the joining factors are exhaustive. So say, for somebody, alot of bad stuff just happen to hit that person in the area which the person cares about the most. Natural response is all the negative emotions, Despair/Sad/Anger etc.

Alright like i said, the dam breaks sometimes varying from the degree of the problems they face. So they like to express themselves, to a certain extent, unwillingly at times. It feels bad and it turns their day upside down. And of course sometimes it is best to just blurt it all out, for example on blogs. And since blogs are public spaces, they have taken to habit of using analogies that most people don't understand and find to be too "deep", and conviniently label them emo.

Yet i think, apart from all these stuff that they blurt out, some are really nice stuff to read for us, but of course, painful stuff for them. You see very nicely phrased words of encouragements on the tagboards, very heartwarming too. Yah, but apart from all the talks about "picking yourself up and trying again" kind of stuff, or " don't quit in your hardest times", there really aint much.

Ok i believe no more than 7% of us can really take heed from those words and get back together because of them, the other 93% live in books and history. Normally, time just heal us up without knowing, and of course when it does, it wont hurt to look back anymore. Yet it is whether you want to heal or not.

Just leaving that thing alone would definitely help alot. People say when someone suddenly becomes super hyper and different, he is trying to cover up his emotional problems. I think it is one of the more effective ways to do it, is really to dismiss it. They tell you its hard to not think about it since its affecting you, actually it is not, at least for problems at our age. You really think of such stuff while you laugh with your friends at yourself? Pre-occupying yourself is not a cover/shell etc. It is a method, a good one. Because time is really the best healer.

If you choose to not want to snap out of it, you try to go back, as i know some do, you just plunge yourself in alot further. What i think is that we must really want to get out, when you do, the way out is really clear and simple. Ok who the heck thinks about his lousy grades even if it means a hell lot to his parents and him when he is really enjoying his game of soccer. You say it comes back after a while? definitely, or else it wont be a problem right, find something to do, after a while, it will come back slowly, lighter and lighter. Of course the difference won't be noticeable at sight, but later on it will show.

Talking to your good friends etc. is just a let out. What's the point of a let out if you continue to brood over what you just let out. So basically you are telling yourself, i dont want it inside me and i cant bear to let it go? Ironic? Maybe emotions are illogical but sometimes, you have to rule with your head. To all those who disapprove what i stated so far, i'd say i have been reasoning, not trying to use emotions in anything much above, but if you snap out of that clash between your head and your heart one day, and i hope this helps, you will see. Because reality has it for us, you cant run on emotion engine full day, yet it is part of our nature, so learn to choose appropriately.

Dispatch them as soon as possible, leaving it alone would be the best, rather than tangle yourself up in useless frustration you cant resolve as of yet. Let time do its work. As for people around these people, we should all be more sensitive, whatever way we deem appropriate, i guess thats where you choose to use your emotions to feel how they are feeling and act accordingly. The clash exists in the greatest men, so don't over trouble yourself trying to overcome it, just make the best decision out of every situation and bear your own consequences.

At least, you'll know how to choose better next time, and next time, and next time...

To all those out there, just do your best man.

T-9

2008-04-03T02:28:00.000-07:00

Today was a really boring day-.-

Basically it was just Maths TA, i estimate around 10 marks bah, yah so heck. Full of academic lessons, apart from CLE, where Mr Law talked about Dating(??) Not very interesting but at least better than the other periods. And Mr Chan treated us to lunch, one of the pastas was really nice, but then everyone koped it so freakign fast hahaha, so i koped from them also. ANyway thanks sir for the food.

Came home and napped+ gamed a bit. CCW screwed up big time, but nvm. So for today, i'd probably do chem, revise abit of physics since theres a test on Monday, learn Ting Xie brzzz so bloody alot of words. And find a proper topic for Chinese project. I am still deciding if i should start maths since weekends is going to be super hectic.

Tmr staying over with the AQ guys. Haha, finally i feel better now. Yeah, Saturday is going to be our day man. Must own all their asses haha. Rock on AQ 08' esepecially to those who shaved. Chester looked dam funny eh, then he refuse to let us take picture, so too bad lar, you all cant see. But i really think he should find another cap to wear instead. And before that, theres a match against 3A, ok wth-.-" quite bad, but we'll pull through, even with so few people. 3 man down i think, at the very least.

I have in mind quite a clear picture now.

Day 9: You left me for today. My sports car looks kind of different from this angle. Maybe its the light, or the tea. Well, the steering wheel still looks the same no matter what.

T-8

2008-04-02T05:36:00.000-07:00

Alright, decided to wake up slightly later today since i didn't even know what was the exact reporting time. Reached at about almost 8am liao, then see everyone slacking in the canteen, before proceeding to the hall.

Ok the briefing before the whole thing started was necessary but too long, honestly. So we set off rather late. So first was the few guys at Lab park. Alright i would say, the first few was rather interesting but then again seeing the same ones again and again gets kind of boring also. But it was quite informative, yah like know alot more now.

Then we went to this Ford factory musem. The auditorium at which we watched the video was like so freaking comfortable then they off the lights somemore. I tink almost 60% of the people conviniently went to sleep. Chester was like snoring away so loudly somemore haha. The gallery was quite small, but also not bad lar and the place was quite cool in itself i thought. Anw, i think our tour guide was quite good, like clear and informative. Yah, not so boring listening to her also. Ok mebe for some people like chester it was a different thing. He reminded me how horny he can get. So basically he randomly went up to me and said " this one yellow" so i was like "ok.." then another guide came then immediately he blurted out "Green/Pink ( i forgot)" so we all went like "wth-.-".

I think learning journey is much better than last year, last year one no comments. Not bad haha.

Ok so had a match with 3E. Drew. well, not very good since it's already our second draw match, but considering their standards its alright i guess. But our defence really need to tighten up, their final finisher always fumbled so i had not much of any work to do anyway. Their goal was a tyco i'd say, there was a throw in a mass scramble and the ball bounced off someone and went in, he didnt even know he scored-.- The credit should go to the thrower, it was a dam good throw though.

Ok they had quality defence and long balls, yah one of their defenders was really zai. Like some fortified kind of defence 88% of the time. Our goal came from a penalty, so it was kind of by chance too, but at least amos didnt try to excite the crowd again:D haha. Alright still alot of room for improvement, but too bad Sup was out so early coz of injury, or else we'd have had a much stronger midfield.

And Haozhi was like dam cocky on the pitch today. HAHA dam funny man, like seriously wth. He was like " WANG LI WANG LI WANG LI" when they passed to this guy called wang li hong or sth. Then of course he proceeded to tackle luh a very VERY VERY spectacular tackle from behind that saved my ass during first half. And when i dived for the ball then the striker challenged me, then he went like " WATCH THE HAND WATCH THE HAND" and kept chanting it.-.-" ok abit de lame. Yah and i think he played EXCELLENTLY TERRIFICALLY WONDERFULLY. Ok maybe not to that extent, but he chionged after all the balls...like chionging after _______. Yah but he tired out too fast.
Disclaimer: if you are not accustom to Egocentric comments and thick skinness of the dedicator please skip the next part.

His wonderful speedy tackles and excellent ball control + interceptions and tackles turned the tables around not to mention the equaliser was scored by the other team while he was off pitch.

Basically, he had a mental block removed today on the pitch. Well to whoever reads this paragraph, its a dedication from himself:D

Still end of story he didnt play as well as the opposition defender:D Haha JOKING. ( ok maybe its true but i dont mean it in a bad way)

So came back and took a long long nap, now after blogging i guess i'll go revise maths before sleeping early again to get back all the lack of sleep the past few days.

Day 8: Thanks for speaking to me like that, it came not from you, but from the you inside me. That ball didnt get pass, us.

T-8

2008-04-01T06:31:00.000-07:00

Just came back from my doc visit, happen that i am almost fully recovered. Good news?

On my way there there was a bump on the road and i stumbled, but gained back my poise quickly and at least for the next few steps, i felt really confidant as i thought about what i did. Yeah and it made me remember about Kieran on Enrolment service. He had a mental block and forgot his score right before the march out, but amazingly, no one noticed coz he just played random stuff along with the beat, even i was so engrossed with my own piping that i rarely noticed any difference. It's really about how you want to pick yourself up after a stumble and feel about it afterwards. Choice man, confidance is the right one.

It was really amazing how the doc could describe my personality so vividly by looking at no not the shape but the texture of my hair. Yes, sounds unbelieveable but true, maybe he guessed abit but it was definitely an informed guess. Well it made me reflect and think about my own personality and possible pitfalls i am more inclined to fall into as of compared to other people and of coz not forgetting the strength of my own personality as well. It came as 2 buses on the road, 73 and 56. One after each other, it felt like looking at my train of thoughts looking at the 2 buses, so weird.

I decided to sleep before 11 tonight, so i shall do as much as i can before that. Anyway, tried chasing the phamplets i sent out but to no avail, abit sad right? Again, dependence and complacency on shaky sources. I learnt my lesson.

If you're wondering why i put Day 7 and Day 6 today, it's because i have been posting about the Day one day before it happened, so now i decide to catch up.

Day 7: Jealousy. I went to the driving center today to learn how to drive. When i saw the tester telling the testee " Once you get out of here, you bear the consequence of your own faults and flaws, as well as your glories and achievements". And i saw the old car there, a imprint of a driver and i haven't really learnt how to drive.

T-7

2008-04-01T05:21:00.000-07:00

Someone stick my head back to my neck, thanks.

Today's April Fools Day, a day devoid of its name i guess. We tried to Punk Chee Keen, but in the end it totally screwed up-.-" Michael and Ren Jie's bright ideas man.

Anyway, most of the stuff, all the dreading stuff have been submitted so heck for now. Except tt i got back my Physics Practical, like wth, i failed by 1 mark again? So basically i failed both the Quiz and Practical by one mark. And guess what, both are reflected in PR one. I think it's gona be quite traumatizing to see a dip in Physics when everything else is rather ok. Guess now i have to worry about how to convince my mum that those 2 shouldn't be counted anyway, but then again, that's if i dont screw up the remaining quizes/practical. Meaning i am more obliged to get my Physics back on track than those who did ok.

Speaking of that Physics test on Monday, better do well at least counter my mum abit. Everything is doing fine, just that subject, but i guess for the rest i cant afford to loose grip too. I think next on the line to drop is Lit. So now just focus on Phy and Lit and maintain the others.

On my bus home from tuition today, the bus was stopping on this slope where there was a bus stop. So a lady boarded the bus and then i think the driver pulled up that thing( dunno called what like something like a brake to prevent the car from sliding down the slope) before he hit the accelerator so we started sliding down for like 5metres before he suddenly WHAM-.- so basically the lady, who was unluckily wearing heels, fell kinda of badly...Ouch. It was quite scary though the sliding part, since it was raining quite heavily too.

Tmr's gona be one hell of a slack day, a break from all the crap we've been getting. LJ day + Soccer haha. But then come home must study Maths TA. Statistics i am abit blur, like especially on the Height of rectangle thing. Nvm i shall calm down and mug tmr. Maths doing not bad so far i feel, since its double weightage, Slip=GG.

Still deciding if i should sleep early and leave work for tmr, but i want to enjoy well tmr. Nvm see whether i can keep awake. For now at least, gotta go see the doc about my rashes, apparently my mum thinks theres still a problem inside, when theres no more rashes appearing. Ok w/e, just 30 mins of my time so it's alright anw.

I see if i should let procrastination come in after i get back.

Day 6: I have a year plus more to get over it, before i kill myself over the clash. The new car is not worth looking, it's the same as the old one, eventually the road gets just as bumpy on any car.

T-7

2008-03-31T07:48:00.000-07:00

Monday, the day before execution day.

"HUH why same as Sunday?"

Yah cause i realise Tuesday is really the mad day, all the Lit stuff hits home with physics as well. Plus my whole afternoon-evening is hogged with tuition and other stuff. i so dread it man, just want to get it through as fast as possible, cause wednesday is going to be a super slack day. LJ day.

Still refining CRP since i finished my Lit essay in school during the freek period and lunch. The CRP being our first one in the year, is really bloody controversial and weird/confusing that's why i keep changing it. Yah but done soon. After that just have to do up my physics, that's all.

Anw, i felt the BB week collection is mostly screw up on my part, i'll reflect about it when i cant fall asleep. But i feel that this year is really screwed up, as in yah, i had "good" sources so i became kind of dependent and complacent, so when the sources screwed up, i got nothing to fall back on. I'll think about it and how to improve next year, while trying to salvage myself somehow.

AQ is coming up this Sat, i think i'll save those thoughts for somewhere else rather than the blog.

Alright there was this weird thing i heard on my way home today. A middle aged man who seemed rather unkempt was riding his bike past me and he slowed down to ask me in chinese some stuff but i guess i'll translate. Basically he said something about us being the Book muggers and him being the free soul, like wandering around and caring only about what's right smacked infront of him. He asked me if i dreamed to be like him, actually i didn't think about it. But it won't change much anyway, in life there are always basic obligations to follow. No point spending too much thought on it to stress yourself also, make out of what you have then.

Anw, i am feeling rather sleepy now, better get my work done ASAP and sleep. Tmr is the execution day afterall, must die happy and energetic.

Day 5: A car that is so beautiful. See no touch, theres no touch no see though, and of course paying any amounts of money wont help lighten the situation.

T-6

2008-03-30T02:35:00.000-07:00

Sunday. Always feels like the day before the execution. Long and excruciating.

Woke up rather early for Art class. I must say i felt rather accomplished today for my painting. Although there in lies room for improvement, i definitely felt dam shiok when i brought it home. Haha cant be bothered to show it to anyone though, i keep my own collection for admiration when i am bored. So guai lan right.

Came home and took a nap. While i was sleeping, apparently, my mum came in, closed all the windows, offed the fan and closed the door, just because it rained for like what 10mins? Wth when i woke up i was sweating like a faggot. So i took an early shower to relief my stink.

Started on my work after that and i must say i was very on task. So whats left so far is basically refining my CRP and my Kindred Essay, both due on Tuesday. But still cannot slacken off now, too early to do that. But the upcoming macbeth quiz is kind of scary, since you have to remember exact qoutations as it is a fill in the blanks?-.- Lit is madness. I think i'd probably pay Sparknotes a visit tonight for the important quotations.

I finally found a nice new song haha, rather addicted to it now.
Over you -Daughtry

Guess i am gona game abit now before dinner before starting on work again.

Day 4: New car, i'm afraid it's gona screw up on me half way. Actually found one, but i was told it is going to boot me out. That fact hit me alot harder than i expected it to.

T-5

2008-03-29T07:26:00.000-07:00

I destroyed my own evening/night. Apologies to my work. I just ventured too deep.

Now i know this new path is harder before i even embark, so i shouldnt take it on, yet i want to, inorder to escape the current dirt road. What should i do man?

T-4

2008-03-29T04:13:00.000-07:00

As long as it's settled, its ok.

Today wanted to chiong work, but in the end, PROCRASTINATION the thief of time. Stole my whole day away. So my plan is to chiong at night, not very smart right? yah i know, but got what choice. Anw, realised that there aint alot to do afterall, apart from making my CRP make sense, the rest are quite no-brainers, like dont need to sit down and think alot or like write a few sentences and stop to think that kind. So it shouldnt take too long.

And i think i screwed up my ERP. Heck lar, it really didnt make sense to me at all, but i just fired it off. But the Hist stuff were good, although i dont understand how i did well, better find out and keep it up. Just waiting for Chem and Physics stuff back, speaking of which the Physics grade on my PR1 is going to look dam dam bad. Thanks to Da Wei, partly myself as well.

My mum came back from Msia today with a $2 bag and a whole bunch of food, and was like smiling to herself, until my sis started mocking her and laughing. Haha, shes dam critical, in the end my mum made things difficult for her (serve her right:D).

Term 2 getting from bad to worst, my BB week collection is like UNKNOWN? so many cards still out there, some cant even get back to me on monday. Worst, someone has been telling me he had alot collected for me so i was abit complacent lar, end up he had $18, so much for alot. What a bad mistake to trust him, now my collection is like quite screwed, trying to salvage it somehow.
Macbeth stuff, 3 big pieces to do as well as the Chinese project, coupled with so many freaking tests coming up, madness. I wonder if any guy can complete everything properly without neglecting another part of his life.

I think i need a way to get myself into a work mood somehow, if not tt sneaky procrastination will drop me another visit.

Day 3: Bow and Arrow, Don't let go yet, I wont fly far. Don't shoot till its ready to go, and i am definitely not.

T-3

2008-03-28T05:04:00.000-07:00

Today was kinda of slack, school had only 4 periods. History was basically giving back CCT and assignment, nothing much, quite slack. EL was so so, just listen, i tink only maximum 70% went into my head. PE was...alright no comments. Making floats with pajamas. Yeah and theres this new sitting plan in class, and apparently i got sent to the back of the class. Now alot harder to pay attention, bet my results will dip. Somemore all the people around me can talk cock one haha GGXX. So come back home just babysat my sister since no one was at home, what a stupid way to spend my friday afternoon.

Tried to do some work since i have alot for the weekend, but in the end she come skipping in ask me color her drawings-.- so i spent a hell lot of time doodling on her pretty drawings of mice queueing up infront of the aircon remote control. Alright like wth right? and i colored the remote pink and orange for no apparent reason.

Gamed abit since i cant get into a working mood, then went around the house finding something nice to drink, that summed up my afternoon. My blister still hurts man...especially after swimming today, the whole thing crumpled and like oozing out water/pus. Dam sick. I am feeling kinda of sick too, not sure if its the air-con, the freaky drawings or the load of work.
-CRP
-EL wksht
-RE
-Hist Essay
-SS wksht (probably not doing)
-Lit Essay
-Maths wksht
Thats all i can think of now, probably more, heck lar, do as much as i can. I think earliest i am going to start tmr anyway.

Theres this funny problem with MSN as well, i hear "player banned" when someone logged in. So am i right to say that my BL just got mixed up with my MSN somehow, weird.

I think i'll continue the trend for Friday, probably take a stroll later, a day to slow down on everything, including sleep of course, sleep is going to halt too.

Tears to Blood

Day 2: Getting better, with slight sinks here and there. Many thanks to you.

T-2

2008-03-27T06:06:00.000-07:00

Like i mentioned previously, i planned my work well such that i am only left with 2 hours of work to do. But in the end i decided to do it at the last 2 hrs before slp today, which is after this post. Apparently, my english Task B screwed up so i gotta re-do, so much for well planned work schedule.

Tmr one day of school, nothing much, a short day in itself with PE somemore. Whoever is chionging work also, jiayou to you.

Anw, today, stoned at home. Basically, woke up, read some stuff on the net, gamed abit, slept alot, ate super alot but not snacks, just white rice. Not sure why had this craving for rice, ended up 4 bowls, carbo-overload. And watched abit of TV in a long while, pretty boring day i guess. And i realise my stupid blisters havent healed. I am so not playing barefoot on the turf under the hot sun again. speaking of which, my face is red-perma.

My shoe suffered from the League as well, guess i'll be getting new ones soon, if i can find my size that is, the alst time i tried it took 1-2 months to find a suitable pair, i dread the search for the right pair of shoes.

One reason i didn blog for so long was that blogger had a very laggy interface on my comp for some apparent reason, and that laggines seems to have spread to my hotmail interface as well. So basically when i check my mail, it takes forever, but i persist on blogging now for the sake of keeping it alive and to an extent just slacking in btwn work times. One way or another this thing is reviving.

Better start work now, got my tea ready. Just need to find the correct English text.

First day-Almost dead

T-1

2008-03-26T05:20:00.000-07:00

Don't ask me why i suddenly blogged, or posted something out of nothing. Sometimes this kind of interest just strikes me when i look at a few of my friend's blogs.

5months been a long time really, talking about every major thing that happen within from the date of my last post till now would literally take forever, might as well just drop that.

Anw, these few days were the staff training days, or so to put E-learning week. Yah and they post worksheets online for you to print out and do, instead of printing it out and doing it. Why? Style lorh. So Tuesday and Wednesday were like total waste of time by waiting for our inter-class matches to start. Tuesday waited 4 hours to play half a game in the rain, and today, went for around 5 hours or abit less for 1 and 1/2 games.

Most of the time just sit around, play around with the ball and talk cock non-stop. Not mentioning, the match wasnt really enjoyeable. Whoever knows the context, i tell you, nice shot, but that ball wont have went in if i didnt allow it to. I just watch it fly past and there was no indecision, just a decision to let it pass over. Still we ended up 1 win 1 draw. I mean our class did alright, considering we played consective matches, yah and i admit the draw was partly my bad too.

Basically came home and slept for a few hours, or rather just lying there with my phone. Its stalemate, like could be good or bad depending on the situation. But it does show something when i inquired more, things i don't really like, but still have to live with.

Work has been coming along pretty fine, planned my work quite well. Chionged almost everything available last Fri-Sun. So for the E-learning week i was basically slacking all day, since everyday was sort of a tiring day itself. I guess today and tmr, i'll finish up the bits and pieces here and there.

There has been some things up with BB lately, not sure what, but i know something is going on. Weird, in every other area, things are going to clear up pretty soon. Quite sure of that, all the vague stuff, the dilemmas and indecisions. Of coz, commitment too.

Been a random rattle of stuff, out of pure boredom i guess, since tmr will be a full day rest, i will just try to stick with stoning for most of the time. Btw archery was -_________- Enough said.

SF

2007-11-02T06:38:00.000-07:00

Last day of school, kinda of fast, 2 years just zoomed past in a flash like that. Many things to remember and of course forget as well, afterall we do move on at one point or another.

As guys right, theres this general invisble wall that separates us and prevent us from showing any strong bonds and like affection in a way, or maybe you can just call it a very different approach. But as we sang our batch song today in the atrium, it was a sense of regretfulness, to part with your class which you had left behind alot of things undone. Like when i saw my classmate's RE report, the grade that he got was not what he deserved, something i could have stopped but did not. Sometimes it is really difficult to unwrap that packaging.

So much so on that, been down with a nasty throat infection, not sure why but it only hurts when i get home-.- pretty cool huh. How about coughing only on the bus? i really dont know what's happening to me also. Getting headaches now and then aint very fun either. But visiting safra was pretty interesting.

Alot of stuff i could say, but dont really feel like it, lazy or personal? i dont know, niether do i bother to find out. But a trip to hell certainly got me into a clearer state of mind. Seed in the soil finds water in the river in turn triumphs air in the wind, cry to drops in the ocean, sail to leaves in the forest but everything all returns to spirit in the heart.~ a symbol, that's all i have left in memory.

FS

2007-10-18T05:15:00.000-07:00

Yeah found some interest in blogging out of pure boredom i guess now that the EOYs are over. I really have not much idea what to do with all my free time now, nothing seems precious enough for the value of time like before the exams. So much took place since i last updated, i really feel very lazy to talk about evey small little insiginificant stuff like in house clan wars or how i basically dunked my maths paper into the toilet bowl.

Ya but now after everything's finally settled down, people look back and start to recall and reflect and looking at their thoughts and action i really feel so helpless, even towards myself. Its a urge to help but a line that is and will never be ment to cross over, and the feeling of being like a sitting rubber ducky really aint good, worst still is when it comes to yourself, when you dont know how to help yourself anymore, maybe that's what it is all about

How long since i last lay down on my bed before going to sleep do i think of anything serious? All this while was sleep the moment you hit the bed of roses, but being punctured out cold all of a sudden gives me the air to stifle those thoughts in my brain? I'm not so sure as well but sometimes, i wont call it being nostalgic, it would be more like erm, i really cant find the words for this one, its just a different time now, a time to move on and deliver. I guess it's really part and parcel of growing up?

Move all that into a cube or a box and squeeze them inside a space they don't ever fit yeah abstract stuff could be compressed but the damage is still done. how else do you think cyclones hit? Or call it sweeping under the carpet, things dont normally work that way, they do come back to haunt you. Just let the video clip play in your mind, and when you get engrossed in the movie and attract undesirable attention, i believe you do have the will to ignore. It belongs to you not others.

But still you would want a tree for shelter wont you? A canopy, a simple shade, especially one that you had helped to groom. But it might not have you along with it, count the spirals on the stump and you see how many years it has to go. Wait till you're older? No its more about whether it see you as a general stereotype or a special individual. What if it's not the latter one? Yeah i guess its a sad tale for you and your efforts of course, but sometimes the appreciation and reciprocation doesn't count. But we are all humans right? We do feel a need to be treated in a certain expected manner, especially by a tree you planted. Then again treat it as a lesson, choose the right basket to put all your eggs into the next time.

And trees do shed their leaves, even if they are evergreen they could either just be felled or damaged in every other way, and at times how far do you think it can shade you? Your whole journey?Logically it wouldnt even shade a significant part of your path through the woods and you couldnt possibly spend your whole time stationary at a single rest point, as you walk along more trees bypass, have they played a small role? Yes i guess so some more some less, but when you exit the woods which of those makes you remember?The one which you have taken the most away from in terms of food shelter and accomodation or the one you had given the most to in terms of care and protection? Its up to you to decide, but whatever it is, staying at a heavenly spot is not wise.

When it is the time to set off, wouldn't you feel lonesome again? What about the routes ahead filled with uncertainty? I dont have a clear idea now as well.

Stops along the PIE on sunday saw me face to face with a bunch of primary school kids. By then PSLE was already over and of course smiles were all over their faces in a very obvious fashion that they were going to town for some enjoyment. A very pleasant time they must have had, yet they part pretty soon in the near future.

I'm sure everyone had their share of people in their early parts of life's path. Many left fond memories but looking at those around you currently most of them would have either gornw distant from them or simply turned their backs to them. Ungrateful? or despiseful? I should think not, its just a highway interchange, stopping for better petrol and fuel. Imagine you stalling and brooding over the old time people, how much would you stand to loose? Everyone around you for a matter of fact. Past is not meant to hinder your present, its meant as a spur of leisure and nostalgic throughts.

People say dont put all your eggs into one basket, for when you harzard all you have you expect much better returns than the ordinary rest. A very practical idea in material but not in ties and bonds. For some its natural, others a forced embarkment for profits, if its the latter i suggest you take the advice at the start of the paragraph. But more often than not, you find yourself with a basket of broken eggs regardless of your intentions, i see it as rather inevitable. You entrust them your earnings and efforts in the eggs yet you cannot entirely be sure they trust that these are authentic and not stuff that captures a fiery greedy heart. How often do you get that idea when you receive a huge gift from others?

Nevertheless, as long as your intentions are true, no harm continuing to try, learn from the mistake of choice and criteria and eventually you wont find a basket of scrambled eggs. An egg juggler breaks countless eggs before he gets it right, but its the eggs in his hand that flies in the air that counts to the audience, each egg carrying tons of others. break or fail, its never too hard to colide within yourself, the internal self war i like to call it but learn to take the right side and win it fair and square without a unproper compromise and you stand to benefit from yourself.

Back to the woods, its not possible to stay with a tree forever, you stand to loose too much by giving up the entire forest for it. Well no matter how much effort have been put into it, theres always a stop to the spiral. You move on when it falls, you move on when another traveller comes along, dont expect no logging company to come, no other travellers to walk pass and take shade, all good things comes to an end, that's a hard and harsh fact, just treasure things while they last. Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gona get, so giving up everything else for a single tree is really not given the rightful worth, but when you move on, plant that tree in a special spot in your heart, a place where no one comes for shade, no one comes to fell it a place where it will always belong to you~

Qoutes

2007-09-29T04:15:00.000-07:00

"Care bears are our friends, not our food!"
"Gummy bears on the other hand..."~LK

"Wanna play catching?"
"Yeah~~~Suicide style"~HY

"Let's make a courier Army!"~BillyWanker

"Hey! My chick!Wheres the SPCA?!?!?!"~emphben

"Shoot him down!....n1 arrow"~HealHearts

"Hi vroomXD"~zarroom

"There goes my food...haiz"~AM

Some quotes recently, i doubt most of them make any sense but if you realise the context of it, i'm sure you'll be ROFL like meXD.

Havent been updating for quite long cause of all the school stuff and EOY coming up so soon also, i think i'll update more after EOYs. Last qoute:P, refer to my post on Jan 11, this one was directed at it.

"Get the crew ready! He finished his Lit parody script..."~This one i won't say who XD

Bleah

2007-08-24T20:21:00.000-07:00

Haha finally weekends are here and so is the end of yet another term. I heard we wont be having any sept holi homework! that is so shiok:] anw's after the RE presentation on friday, i had some stupid philo retest...which cause me to be released like 1 hour late. Ate lunch at S-11 then went over to parc vista(however you spell it) warmed up my hands and played a match on Bnet. Then i had to wear this dam small singlet...bleah so uncomfortable. Then watch chester and daren play their stupid duel master cards...lol they look so young when they duel, like little kids or sth.

Later we were crossing the road to LAN center, chester tried to act seh, wanted to kick his soccer ball all the way across the road, in the end it fell into a dam deep drain. haha then he tried to get it back but it was way too slippery and there were a crap load of ants crawling everywhere. it was super creepy and painful! haha like i got bitten by 10 ants or something, in the end he decided to pang seh the ball.

We played only one match coz due to time factors. It was honestly quite embarassing coz it was 3v2 but at least we won, and daren did improve alot with his usage of support hero, the game turned our way when he was able to execute the combo properly which wasnt too late yet:] perhaps he should grow into that role of support and own with us instead of feeding.

On my way home the bus really got on my nerves.... it took 30 mins to come and the one that came was full...the nxt one took another 20 mins and guess wad? full again... i refuse to trust the bloody bus again so i decided to taxi home. bloody bus wasted 50mins of my time!

All the staff are have STD on monday!LOL no school for us but need to do pretty alot of work still...though theres always time to relax no matter what:P

Revived

2007-08-20T05:09:00.000-07:00

Woohoo so long never post le. Haha i redirected my blog to some secret URL for a period of time just to avoid the responsibility of posting coz back then i didnt really have enough time. Now feeling rather bored so thought perhaps i'll revive my blog? Haha hope you guys like my skin. Please leave your links down i cant remember everyone's links all at one time, sryz, just leave it on my tagboard and i will link you up soon enough.

So much stuff went on in the past half a year no time to recount or anything, might as well start on a fresh new page. Let the past pass lol. Well something i really looking forward to know is moving house. Haha after such a long while of wasting 3hrs of MRT rides every day, finally i can be spared of that agony!YAY haha but then september holidays would then be pretty occupied with settling down and everything. Then again it's a small price to pay all for the greater good:]

Another year gone past so quickly and handover took place again, i am sure everyone has very different thoughts and expectations (especially A.Ravindran). Well it has certainly gone by in a scuffy, i realise i missed alot of stuff along the way, perhaps i could regain them back in the coming year. All to that, end of term 3= slight break but start of term 4=hell break loose ahaha, must muggggg and mugggg and muggg le lol no choice, school is school after all:]

Adios everyone!

Northland Ownage

2007-01-26T06:06:00.000-08:00

Went for Band "Field Trip" today at Raffles Place Park where 18th coy Northland Sec was holding a Pipe Band performance, Never seen them play before but i knew they were first for Band competition for 3 years in a role. well wasnt sure until i saw them play themselves and the minure they played i FELT SO OWNED... No doubt they are CHAMPIONS... Its gona Take a huge load of hardwork for the other Bands to beat them for the top spot. Man their pipes are awesome and syncro like mad, their Drums accent like darm nice, then the bass drum !!!! arghs ownage the bass is ownage, they simply played nearly everything, reel, march slow air, jig.... Man darn ownage and this Fabian Anthony guy is darm imbar, his solo was like... nvm, we gona work harder if we wanna bring back something. OMG i still feel so owned... their band is some imbar... Deserve some standing ovation, but then i believe our band Aint Any much worse if we put in the effort, Jiayou guys, we will claim a name of our own:]

looking out

2007-01-17T07:01:00.000-08:00

Betrayal after Betrayal, i have learnt my lesson, yet i continue to plunge myself inside. I feel no more pain, i sense no more sadness, just numbness and emptiness. I keep holding hopes, yet time after time, i am disappointed, but yet incident after incident, i place trust in that it wouldnt end this way, i hoped on, but as all sees, it just ends the same way.

When all is rosy and peaceful, no war, no fights, no conflicts, everyone is your best friend, when in times of conflict and war, hardship arises, and it becomes every man for himself, then its when true frens arise, if you have anyone that cares for you.

Well i certainly cared, and you didn, i treated you with 100% but u returned me less than 10%. i trusted in you time after time, yet you disappointed me time after time. i Dont blame you, but i wish you could think about what you did to me. i was pushed into the gutter by you, but i feel no sense of death. my spirit dies, my soul sucked, but just remebered your part, and that's enough for me.

Back

2007-01-12T19:37:00.000-08:00

Haizz, previous post was just an outburst of sudden emotions, Anyways, 10th Jan is over, Time will heal my wounds. Though LK commented that my Lit Imagery was well used:] lol. Well i find that When u feel lonely, you just turn around and see all the tiny bits of pieces left behind by friends who are not so close or gone already. I find myself smiling less than once a day and tts BAD...arghs, but everything seem to be bothering me, Tribalwars stuff growing BAD, Pipe test coming up very soon, and school stuff, plus also My mum, whole day incessant nagging and scolding, just wasnt appropriate. Then now this... nvm.

Ya yesterday had Arts at the Atrium performance , It was pretty screwed up, due to short notice, we only had 2 hrs of practice, so i dont think its that bad. basically everyone were not coordinated and didn noe wad to play, kinda of messy and alot of stuff were on the spot decisions. and at one point, one guy tot he was playing one tune when he was practically playing sth else...And sth enlightening happened today.

Meanwhile, i am still paranoid, even i cant open my own heart's door...and thx for everyone who tagged:] drop by more often

To be thrown around

2007-01-11T03:54:00.000-08:00

I spent the darkest times of my life along. sometimes when you just go around your daily stuff, you dont get through yourself, just through this few Days, so much happened, yet i have not been able to absorb it all. Constant Scolding from my mum just didn have to pile onto it. The great pain of having to let go on something you love yet you know will not last... Regrets and sadness. What takes one more turn in and out around my life. Now i'm thinking about how i wish i could go back just for one more day. But it all meant good for both of us. Nevertheless, the dark night of 10Jan 2007 wont make its way out of my life so soon. Have anyone thought of suicide before? surprisingly, i have not even under everything now... i lost the drive to live on but i dont get the kick to die yet, so i am just stuck some way in between, a wanderer of my own valley, torments be around me, angst be floating above me... I see no goal, i feel no accelration, and i cant find the pedal...
What took me on was just the gentle breeze, which is ever diminishing, the once crowded valley now empties with few... some walk past me saying Hello and no more, some take a short chat with me, others turn towards me and probes insensitively, minority of the few, take a shout through the valley, hoping to find me, but i could not answer the call, Yet i feel that tide inside me, sometimes i overflow, sometimes i empty... One took a path straight to my heart, but nvr stayed, entered and left, leaving behind a cowed and fearful soul, with all the doors shut tighter, afraid of more pain. So many people appeared as saviours to my state, yet they tricked me, they illusionised me, each time they disappear from my life, my weary heart grows weaker and cowardly, less trusting and close my door tighter... someday it will be too tight to ever be opened. What trusted me in this was nothing, so nothings gona bring me out, as i walk the endless valley, i see none but shadows of those who passed, i drink my own tears, eat my own sorrows. Belonging to my non existence control is what i could not see, hear taste nor touch. But it tells me to wander on, my heavy footsteps, my bottled up emotions, when i release them, the valley would be gone, so would i, but so would everyone else around, community of power, hungary gormet and evovling character... i dont see the point of being a Gary nerville or some other guy... but taking all through this, being there was enough, but yet...
Who reads my laments? Who hear my yells of pain... Day after Day i control, i hold out, i appear as a happy guy to those who pass by my valley, i wander through all, to hope of finding a rest... peace and happiness, i feel like when a blind man gets lost but someone tugs at the other end of your walking stick... leads you and chats with you, talk your heart out and suddenly, you just feel the other end fall to the ground again...You know the reasons yet, you cant help being Angry...
During the Lantern festival, my valley brightens up with a glow of red, people arrive on their majestic dress codes and fancy wears, you watch them stare at you with shaggy clothing, you dont feel ashamed... but you seem more pitiful of what was nvr there. when the night is over, Dawn deprives all the people, Red paper scraps litter the valley grounds. What more to expect other than emptiness at such points. some stuff never lasted...
Then came the monsoons, my valley floods with rain day after day, few threads through the thick murky waters, playful kids take turns to feel up their fish tanks, being drenched was not meant to be a beaten surface, but a harder outer rim of justice in prevailation... Its The Rain that brings warmth, for it is hard cold and frank, A straight shot of water from the skies, realisation of fact that what is meant to be done is already done. The roads get tougher, the water grows higher, but as i wander on, the way turns blurrer but yet i see a faint shade of black in the distance.
Who Hear my Laments? Who see this Line of my tale? My life was a one word story, yet being born means you got a reason here, The doors of my heart slammed shut on 10th Jan 2007 i dont expect anyone along the way to open them anymore, but i am keeping my fingers crossed, that no one comes knocking on it no more, as i undertake the rest of this vague valley, my goals seem distant and radiant... but i know it wasnt there, my acceleration is behind me but it nvr caught up, my pedal was out of reach of my foot and the designer nvr bothered, Yet my handgear was in grasp, but it was already rusty from years of toil... My legs are still carrying me but God knows how far more... and God knows when i might just drop along the way of my valley... I see vultures but i have no will left to defy them, somethings are just inevitable.

Shagged

2007-01-07T01:11:00.000-08:00

Very long never updated alr coz recently very shagged, getting used to waking up at 4.45am again, pretty tiring. Anw, Friday's Band session was meaningful, coz i found that i can pipe with drones alr and Ben Khoo's getting me my drones nxt week!!! YAY thx Ben:] well after 1 year i finally get my drones. John, Joel, Ryan and rest of my batchmates, work hard for your drones, and congratz to my seniors,Daryl and Max for getting their drones with me too:] Oh and Piping test is coming up on the 19th. I am suppose to take Stage 1 with my batch but then My instructor arranged for me to take Stage 1 and Stage 2. Yay i am taking stage 2 with all the sec3s and 4s, feel so honored:] but i scared i fail... must work hard within this 2 weeks, MUST pass..:] Haha then can suan them LOL jking:] Friday i did 3 times my usual share of piping, so i ate earlier in case later on, my mouth goes numb and i cant taste all my delicious food, and sure it did for a while in the evening:]
Then had some sort of badminton test on Sat. Lol bad thing was, after the test, i was playing with my friend, i missed a smash... and kind of like injured my tricep, coz the impact was not transferred to the shuttlecock but instead it over stretched my tricep... coach say i tore it but i dun think so, tearing a muscle is worst... at least thats wad i think, nevertheless, it is becoming very inconvinient now, cant lift my arm more than 20 degrees, cant lift the lid of my cooking pot, cant draw properly, cant pipe properly... and many more. I just hope it heals by thursday so that i can pipe on Fri and go for Badminton on Sat again.
Well gotta get back to school again, Mondays are just so dreadful with all the lessons coming back on, Sunday nights are like, night before execution:[ lol Oh ya And Welcome to the Black Parade Topped Singapore charts AGAIN like 4th or 5th time alr! YAY frigging Nice Song. Nice songs always top. Though i dun like Justin's "My Love" But it sounds ok lar... second position i thought would go to A con instead of him. Btw Someone else just got influenced by " Everytime-Simple Plan" i sent Long kuan the song, and he kept listening till, it drove him mad and EMO, now he says it keeps playing in his head.LOL. gotta go study my theory for my Pipe test alr. see ya peeps:p

2007 here I come

2007-01-01T02:24:00.000-08:00

I was awake as i withnessed the countdown till 2007. pretty splendid and short lasting but it felt great that a sad 2006 has ended and i hope for a much better year in 2007. Well as some people did i decide to post some of the impt stuff of 2006 i shall try to leave out the sad stuff though. Here goes:

Jan:
1.Sec1 orientation, till now i find that its the least screwed up camp i have been to, pretty fun mostly because it wasnt tough. Made friends with all the new people around. Orientation was definitely something to remember:]

Feb:
1. Lunar New year though i didn recieve as much Ang Pao money as last year but this year My house was the ground for celebrations meaning all the friends and relatives came over wah the shoes outside my doorstep was overwhleming. Had great fun man as i owned all the adults at poker after dinner:]
2. Valentines Day went unnoticed:] pretty happy though that the fact nothing happened:] Dont sink yourself in so early:] but valentines dae was my friend's B'dae! happy 13 year old for him:]

Mar:
1. W00t march camp muahaha all the discipline and Hike really got me thinking. Though now after joining AQ i dun find march camp very xiong anymore but it was pretty much exhaustive. but pretty fun too sec4s did a great job man:]When it comes to my batch's tunr we gona do sth even better:]

Apr:
1.Nothing much but alot of birthdaes fell in this month, went places for celebrations and shopped around for presents with friends, oh ya i was thrown into one of those nasty april fool tricks. shall not elaborate.

May:
1.Not much except studying hard for CTs, good hard work yielded my 3.80 though my parents were still not contented. Chester was going mad about Maple at this point of time i could still remember:]

June:
1.Birthday and June expedition to Malaysia. The expedition sure was fun we did jungle hikes, white water rafting, cave explorations etc. and i celebrated my B'dae for the first time in Malaysia.Linus did too. Later that night i was hiding in Jappy's hotel room to escape the Birthday strippers HAHA.

July:
1.Restart of school term had alot of downfalls in my test pretty sad at that point of time. And had all the rehersals for Annual parade pouring in.

Aug:
1.ANNUAL PARADE... omg it was more xiong than march camp in my opinion... stand still for an 1hour plus seeing people recieving awards and you getting nothing, but the satisfaction was pretty immense. The dinner that followed was pretty fun though i forgot much of it now:]

Sep:
1.Teachers Day! w00t went back to Rulang to catch up on some friends:] played some soccer and everything later on. Sec3s were taking over now, they still seem like sec3s to me they nvr grow into sec4s in my eyes:] and i doubt i grow in their eyes either:]

Oct:
1.Children's Day without holiday haizz... And CTs coming again all the mugging and crap. didn realli pay off as well as last time abit due to luck too. 3.73 this time.nvm

Nov:
1.HOLIS!!! yay. AQ started and it was realli FUN. yea AQ camp made me think march camp was not much:] lol Band trainings intensed too. as two performances came up w00t.

Dece:
1.Went back to china went to alot of places to play went to disneyland too wow darn fun man!
2.My first performance though it was raining and all it was an enriching experience
3.Band outing at sentosa! that was really fun and i didn realise leon and his church people were just beside us at siloso beach too!
4.Coy dinner closed the year with a fantastic atmosphere

Though many many sad stuff cropped up, i shall not think anymore the year's gone anyway. Now for my resolutions for the new year:]
1. Improve my bagpipe skills
2.Train Hard for AQ
3.Study Well
4.Fix my specs
5.Cut my hair often
6.Make more friends
7.Earn my first stripe
8.brush off all the sad stuff of 2006
thats all HAPPY NEW YEAR

Hey

2006-12-30T02:30:00.000-08:00

Haven updated for very long coz i went on holiday and come back got the internet problem. Anws i shall start with my performance. it was an outdoor performance and it was raining on that day so some of the performances were cancelled or shortened but nevertheless it was a good experience for me as my first time performing this year. After the performance, we slacked around and went on our ways. i heard that a bunch of my friends carolled from esplanade to tiong bahru. sounds very fun too bad i went home:[

A few Days later we had a combined band outing with the RG gals at siloso beach. That was fun, we played soccer on the beach and threw alot of people into the water. Long kuan actually managed to tackle Nat into the water Lol. Anw later I ganged up with YYQ and owned long kuan in the sea lol. But then it started to rain... so we took shelter and started playing bridge while Ben and Darius went to play volleyball in the rain[mad people] Though i didn win every bridge game but i won every Bid Lol. when the rain settled we went to have lunch at harbourfront. After that we went bowling at civil service club at Farrer park. though i didn bowl, i was playing Pool. Jappy showed himself to be extremely imbar. i lost to him by 2 balls...arghs. Binglong actually managed to strike!!! The sky is falling...Lols. After that went for our company year end dinner which was at the same venue. Had alot of fun too but i think the food wasnt very good... Jappy and Geof got Pwned by "老鼠爱大米" haha. Went back darn late alr Good day:]

Today went for AQ hike. quite tough but not killer. started at Bukit Batok went to jurong east then to clementi-queenstown-tiongbahru-outram flyover then ended at orchard. but 3 out of 7 MGRs were not realli correct...so we wasted quite alot of time. But mistakes here and there were pretty demoralizing. i was never so happy to see orchard MRT. according to Arun we ran 5 times more than we did on the first hike. i heard the distance was 22.5km. we managed to do it in 4hrs 21mins. considering the MGRs fault i think we did a pretty good job the first hike which was 15km was done in 2hrs 55 mins. Through this i seriously find that singapore is a small country:]lol. went for KFC later coz everywhere was packed full. After that came home. Very tired today.Gona rest and finish my 阅读报告 later.Byez:]

Review

2006-12-15T19:22:00.000-08:00

Yo i found tt i still have sometime for a short post:] yep well yesterdaes AQ training was pretty xiong, chester actually pwned it lor... he super slack lar... aiyo anws we did intervals training... wah run untill everyone wanna puke alr... then those who chiong like mad had to rest for the first set...lol[ we had sets after intervals] sets was especially tiring mainly coz of the intervals lar... haiyo... nvm after AQ went for lunch at s11. Ban mian builds up my carbos... felt much better lar but was feeling darn sleepy... then we set off for RGS. reached at 1.30pm... training was suppose to start at 2.30pm... blame who ah? blame tt stupid BM ah whos the BM ah? ok nvm. anw did one hour extra practices. i was chantering for the drummers and then the drum major wan to perfect the 3 medleys and was like asking us to repeat and reapeat lar... wah seh... they drum with hands i blow with mouth leh... my cheeks were nearly swollen... after tt was march in formation. quite fun but the base drummer keep making mistake when it came to ANGELS WE HEARD ON HIGH he keep giving wrong double beats. then we rehearsed formation for the performance itself. ok lar but by tt time my mouth was leaking like crap alr keep getting cut off... w00t we ended off with some of our own tunes. played a CHAO fast itchy fingers. darn powderful. but Rebel Piper screwed up coz kieran nvr come lar and onli he can do the drum solo well. yup wah darm tiring siah then todae woke up at 11am latest i have ever slept till... Anws u guys if you all are free on the 24th december ah come down to little indian for some performances lar not just by us got jugglers fire players etc... just take the purple line.... go little india and a short walk to KKMC if u all wan to go just call me in the morning lar:] anw after tt u all can go orchard and shop or wadever wad:] its 2pm to 6pm ok:] yup cya.